Run at His Word
Dear Lord,
What a shock! It has b n so hard trying to find th tim to writ this book and now I hav finally cl ar d and mpty hour and th " " had fall n off my typ writ r! How can I writ anoth r chapt r in my book without th fifth l tt r of the alphab t? I can't sp ll my nam without that l tt r!
About all I can do is "in all things giv thanks." Oh d ar! I hav tri d to think up s nt nc s without that missing l tt r! B li v m , it's not asy! I don't know what it's lik in Gr k or H br w or what v r languag You us d for writing, but it's practically impossibl in nglish!
Mayb you'r r minding m that I am lik that missing l tt r. I am part of your whol alphab t! Although th " " is small and I might think it is insignificant, no oth r l tt r can tak its plac ! Thank You for that though, Lord. Isn't that funny? About th only thing I can say without an " " is "Thank You."
Thank You, Lord.
Thank You, Lord.
Thank You, Lord.
I pray in the name of th Lord J sus Christ!
Am n.
E
Thank You, Lord!
Page 113
There is such a thing as failure!
I heard an inspiring speaker say once that her dictionary didn't have the word fail in it. Well, if you need to check the spelling, call me! My dictionary has the word, and my life has had the experience.
I have been in shows that failed, gone on diets that failed, and depended on friendships that failed. I have failed at baking a cake, putting in a zipper, playing the piano, and on and on. The person who says there are no failures is either a winner or not a contender.
One night I was speaking at a Christian coffeehouse. I sat for some time and watched the entertainment that preceded me. Each engagement has its own signature, and this one's was youth with a capital You! The psychedelic lights and psychopathic amplification heightened the joy for all the teenagers present, but did no good for my middle-aged stomach and matching headache.
The lady in charge was being more energetically youthful than any of her audience. Nothing is more aging than tying to be young. Youth is an accident of time. When it becomes a planned program, it is an offence to maturity.
I know of no speaker who relates better to that mystical catchall group called young people than Corrie ten Boom. In the honesty of her eighty-plus years, she sees age as a definition, not a barrier. She is at ease in her age, so her audiences are at ease in theirs, and all those ages get together beautifully.
As I sat in an uncomfortable chain uncomfortably close to the stage, I began to get more and more apprehensive. The crowd began milling around between
Page 114
numbers, and the hostess was fearful that they might leave before she got me on the stage.
"Come on now! All of you! Hurry! An actress is going to talk to us now. We don't want to keep her waiting."
I wished I hadn't waited at all! If only I could move the dial of time back a few notches, to the afternoon I was invited to that coffeehouse. That I would like to do over!
I began my talk. My opening jokes were greeted by an impassive silence. In the midst of a Bible verse, someone's soda lodged in the machine. I think it got a hint of the program and decided not to come out!
The young boys responded eagerly. They began beating on the side of the soda machine while the ladies serving lemonade tried to shush them. The soda responded resentfully. It shot down its little chute with such force it pushed through and past the little catch basket, landing on the floor and rolling around noisily. One lemonade lady shushed it!
I picked up where I had left off, but my heart wasn't in it. I could not make contact. Any kind of entertainer must maintain some authority over the audience. It's not a heavy-handed control, but a subtle discipline of focus. Some actors have this ability naturally. Any talent I have in this direction was startlingly dormant that evening!
I had been booked for forty-five minutes. The soda machine and I had shared but five when I left. I left the stage, the room, the building, the block, and the whole field of Christian service!
Once I was home, I tried to cry away the memory of
Page 115
that agonizing few minutes on the stage. I fumed at God. "I will never, never, never speak to another group. I am not a speaker I didn't ask to be a speaker and I don't want to do Your will if that's what it means! Somebody else can do all those programs. I'm not going to be made a fool off!"
I felt a little better after such emphatic eloquence, took a couple of aspirin for my headache, and went to bed. The next morning I systematically canceled my speaking engagements, glancing occasionally at God to see how disturbed He was at His loss.
God was amazingly calm about the whole thing! He did not seem to realize that His roster had a critical gap. No one else paid much attention to it, either. I busied myself with several time-consuming ventures and went on about the activities of my life.
I had failed. I had planned to offer a lighthearted statement of the Lord to a responsive audience of young people. My statement had become less and less lighthearted as my audience became less and less responsive. I had failed. That was fact.
Sometimes we deal with the fear of failure. Often we deal with the fantasy of failure. In this instance I was dealing with the fact of failure.
However, I took that one incident of failure and made it conclusive. I had decided to get off the track and make camp in failure. I told God that if obedience to Him did not assure me I would never fail, I would not run in obedience to Him. Failure is inconvenient. It is also embarrassing especially when it happens in public!
Elijah's principle didn't help me, because Elijah
Page 116
had performed well. He had done a great show. Mine has been a failure. David's principle didn't help me, because I found no sin in my action and I felt no guilt in my attitude. Hannah's principle didn't help me, because she had not had the opportunity I had had. She had suffered without a creative outlet mine had blown a fuse.
The worst part of all was admitting no help from Elisha. I was not a beginner. I had tried to take what I had learned of my craft into the arena of Christian opportunity and had failed.
God did get me back into the running. Although He was functioning very well without me, He still had plans for working through me. I became increasingly uncomfortable in my withdrawal campaign. Finally I confessed my willful disobedience and came back to run again.
"Here I am, coach. Send me in."
Guess where He sent me? Back to that same coffeehouse!
"Not there, God," I said. "I've tried it there. Choose someplace else, God." I said no to God as reverently as I could. That's when I learned that refusing God is always irreverent. The only reverent answer to God is yes.
I went back to that coffeehouse with much prayer and some extra preparation. The second time around was a joyous experience! You see, there is a biblical principle that renders even failure creative in the hands of the Creator. It is found in Luke 5, where Peter, James, and John learned to run even though their feet were heavy with the crusting clay of failure.
Page 117
And [Christ] saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets.
Luke 5:2
They were washing their nets after a long night of fishing. There was very little to wash out of their nets, because they hadn't caught anything in them!
I can imagine that Peter did not enjoy the fact of his failure. He was a successful man. He and his brothers owned several fishing boats. He was a man of some financial standing. He was not a novice fisherman. He was adept at his work, but he had failed that night.
Christ got into Peter's boat and asked to be taken a little way out from land so He could speak to the crowd that had "... pressed upon him to hear that word of God..." (Luke 5:1).
What could He teach me from the boat of a fisherman who had failed to catch fish? We think success is the only podium. I have tried to bargain with Him by saying, "Promote me, Lord, and I'll glorify You from the pinnacle." He has replied, "Glorify Me where you are, or you'll never glorify Me at all."
... when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.
Luke 5:4
Can you imagine the great, weather-beaten face of Peter, squinting up at the Christ?
Page 118
And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing...
Luke 5:5
Peter may have muttered under his breath, "I don't tell You anything about carpentry, so don't you tell me about fishing! There are no fish to be caught out there!"
I have a feeling Peter may have wondered why the Master could make so much sense teaching the crowd from the boat and then become so unreasonable when He gave personal directions.
I find this type of experience often repeated in the Lord's dealings with me. The Word is so clear when it refers to other people. I can look at their problems in its light and see clearly marked patterns of cause and effect. And then it gets to me, and just does not make sense anymore!
And when they had this done, they inclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake. And they beckoned unto their partners, which were in the other ship, that they should come and help them. And they came, and filled both the ships, so that they began to sink.
Luke 5:6, 7
What a remarkable thing! Jesus the carpenter knew more about fishing that Peter the fisherman. Jesus the carpenter also knew more about performing in coffeehouses than Jeannette the actress. He knows more
Page 119
about all of it than any of us, because He is Sovereign!
The principle that got me back to the coffeehouse and loaded Peter down with fish is just as available today as it ever was. It's tucked away in Luke 5:5. Peter said:
.... Master, we have toiled all night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net.
It doesn't look possible, Lord. I don't see how it can work. I've tried and failed. But nevertheless, at Your word, I will give it a try! The principle that makes all the difference is creative obedience.
Oh Peter, listen well to His direction. He is teaching you the technique of expert fishing. He is teaching you the primary lesson of all your wonderful ministry.
Hear it above the mockery that sounds your failure. Hear it louder than your screaming convictions about the impossible task. Hear it over and above the listing of your inadequacies. It is the Sovereignty of God, who never calls you to do something He has not already equipped you to do. Hear the truth of creative obedience where God directs, God supplies! At Your word, Lord, we will let down the nets, go back to the coffeehouse run again with your message.