Maturing: Growing
Beautiful
Some people have trouble letting the Lord shepherd them. Being wayward and headstrong by nature, we are not always sure we need help. We have our own ideas of what looks like good pasture. And so we wander here and there.
In his Psalm of Wandering, Joseph Bayly captures the adventures of proud, small humanness:
"Lord you know
I'm such a stupid sheep.
I worry
about all sorts of things
whether I'll find grazing land
still cool water
a fold at night
in which I can feel safe.
I don't.
I only find troubles
want
loss.
I turn aside from You
to plan my rebel way.
Page 78
I go astray.
I follow other shepherds
even other stupid sheep.
Then when I end up
on some dark mountain
cliffs before
wild animals behind
I start to bleat
Shepherd, Shepherd
find me save me
or I die.
And You do."1
Mercifully the Lord does intervene in our lives when we call to Him and, tasting His goodness, it is surprising that we would ever stray again. Happy are those who keep their hearts fixed on the Shepherd; this is what it means to mature spiritually. The most defeating trait in our lives is our tendency to double-mindedness. We say we believe one thing, but we act on a different principle.
There can be no spiritual maturing apart from eating the food He provides for us. The Bible says that "His [God's] divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness" (2 Peter 1:3). God wants us to know who He is, to understand the dimensions of the salvation provided in Jesus Christ, and to be comforted by the Holy Spirit's presence in our lives. Knowing implies information, experience, and fellowship. God has revealed Himself in the written Word, the Scriptures, and in the living Word, Jesus Christ. We are called to His glory and goodness. It is imperative that we know God.
No amount of religious exercise will substitute for
Page 79
spending daily time studying the Bible, and then talking with God about what we have learned. One of my friends was tucking her small son into bed one night. They had just finished praying together, and he said with sudden insight, "I get it, Mom. God talks to us through the Bible, and we talk to Him when we pray. Right?" Right. Profoundly right. Imagine God's love in revealing Himself, His character, and His works to us in the Scriptures only to find that our wayward hearts are careless in exercise of the privilege of communicating with the eternal God.
An African boy, reading the Scriptures for the first time in his own language, said, "This book makes holes in my heart." God means to change the way we think and the way we act as we respond to what we read. And this reading is no perfunctory ritual; it is interacting with God and it makes "holes in our hearts."
A friend and I had been discussing an issue concerning personal faith, and I read a passage from the Bible aloud to her. She had only recently become a Christian and she interrupted me to ask, "Does it say anywhere in the Bible that after you have committed your life to Christ you can understand the Bible better? Because I am comprehending what you are reading, and I have never understood the Bible before!" She was experiencing the Holy Spirit's ministry in her life. Jesus has promised that the Holy Spirit would take the truths of God and make them real to her (John 16:13-15).
God gives us His Spirit when we trust Christ, and the Spirit's ministry in us is to reveal truth and to enlighten our understanding. It is characteristic of new believers to experience the thrill of this, but it is meant to be the continuing experience of all believers. God doesn't dump character into our hearts; He wants to make our own muscles strong
Page 80
by inviting us to go on in our experience of the knowledge of Him. And He gives the Holy Spirit to us to help us grow in ways that change our lives. Holiness is not sentiment; it is the character of Jesus Christ worked into ours. It is always the result of making the right choices.
Those who take their refreshment daily from the Word of God evidence this in their lives. We don't have to announce to others whether we have spent meaningful time with God; it is reflected in the way we think. When some Christian pours out her heart to me and what I hear is out of tune with the grace of God, mixed-up thinking with bitter or anxious overtones, then I know that the solution to her unrest will be found in an exhortation to believe in God and return to feeding on His Word. This remedy has proved amply true in my own experience with God. If I don't have the right diet, my spiritual life goes askew. My point of view turns away from God to look at situations. Ungodly thinking is simply that — thinking without God.
God spoke through the prophet Jeremiah to warn the people of Israel about their neglect of Him. His words have contemporary impact in defining our failure:
My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water. (Jeremiah 2:13)
Oh, the irony of forsaking the fountain of living water to dig a cistern of our own, only to find out it doesn't hold water! What a colossal waste of divine provision and human potential. And some people hold an empty cup to their lips all their lives.
In Psalm 81:16 God says, "You will be fed with the finest wheat,
Page 81
and with honey from the Rock I will satisfy you." This is God's provision for us in his person, which is revealed in His Word. He satisfies the needs of our inner being; He guides our lives in paths of truth. He has communicated to us. The Bible is a roadmap to the King, someone once said, designed to get us to the palace instead of to the garbage dump.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of a daily time with God in the Scriptures and in prayer. The way for communication is open, a fact made possible by the death of Jesus Christ. That symbolic tearing apart of the curtain to the Holy of Holies in the temple at the time of Christ's death has given us the privilege of approaching God in Christ's name. We become like those with whom we spend time; we begin to think their thoughts after them. If you want to mature and grow beautiful on the inside, listening to God must be a daily habit.
But listening must be the "hearing of faith" that helps us put truth to work in our lives. It is not an intellectual exercises we are after, but the response that involves the whole person — the will, as well as the intellect and the emotion. We are curious beings. Some people say, "If only I could feel," and in a variety of ways they let their feelings buffet them about. The biblical pattern is always to believe — act — know — feel. In other words, we act on our belief which proves itself in our experience and our feelings line up. For instance, "I don't feel I can love her but I believe I should" includes the element of feeling, of belief, of action. When these are put in the right order the statement becomes, "I believe I can love her (because belief puts the resources of God at our disposal); I will act lovingly toward her; my feelings are changed as I obey God." Belief, action, feeling.
Biblical belief is not simply giving assent to a truth. The Bible says devils believe this way. Biblical belief means
Page 82
committing your whole weight to the truth. It means walking out on a plank, expecting it to hold — and suddenly finding it is not a plank, but the very rock on which existence rests. Commitment to truth is the essential element in belief. If I were to go to a bank and present a thousand dollar bill before the teller, I might say, "I'd like to place this in the safe-keeping of this bank." But if I were to hold on to the end of the bill, she would say in return, "I will be glad to deposit it, but you must let go of the bill." It is not committed until you let go and trust the safe-keeping to the bank.
Paul wrote to Timothy with the assurance that came out of commitment:
I am not ashamed because I know whom I have believed and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. (2 Timothy 1:12)
I am not ashamed; I have believed; I am convinced. This is the secret to the authenticity and dynamic of Paul's life.
The Christian life involves claiming what God has already given us in Christ. My grandmother used to speak of this as "claiming the promises," and that is exactly what it is. Peter wrote:
He has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. (2 Peter 1:4)
That verse is a promise in itself. It says that we can escape the worldliness which infects us and become more like Christ by claiming the promises of God. And the Bible is alive with promises.
Page 83
Corrie ten Boom used to speak of this as "writing a check on the heavenly bank." The resources we need are there for us; we need to cash in on them. She learned the validity of these resources in a Nazi concentration camp and says, "It would not be in the Bible if it were not true." Taking generously from God's provision made Corrie ten Boom beautiful. When you are over eighty and are truly beautiful, it is not cosmetics that makes it so, but a likeness to Jesus Christ.
Maturing defined means coming to full development; maturing in experience means facing reality and learning how to handle what we see.
Life is not as perfect as we would like it; our own actions have added to its imperfections. We had a plan in mind and events didn't go that way. We have two choices: to rebel against the way life is or to draw on heavenly resources, to claim some of the promises that will keep us from the "corruption of passion."
The rebels hit out against life, maneuvering on their own resources, and make their own decisions and improvements to correct the faults they find in life. Sometimes it takes on the guise of great sacrifice: the enduring, martyred woman who has given all for her family and finds not-so-subtle ways to remind them. Other times lip service is given to God, but there is little question as to who is running the show. Rebels feel trapped, make decisions based on self's needs, and get themselves into trouble.
A friend was recounting her own rebellion to me. She had been chafing badly at an assignment God had given her. She knew it was His will for her, but the circumstances did not suit her. She was complaining about this in a conversation with an older friend, hoping for some sympathy. Instead, after listening to the whole tale, the friend said,
Page 84
"Did you know that your rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft in God's sight, and that your arrogance is like the evil of idolatry?" (1 Samuel 15:23). That was hardly the sympathy my friend was expecting, but it was the rebuke she needed. "Suddenly," she said, "I saw God's point of view about my rebellious heart. I had been toying with rebellion, almost delighting in it. Rebellion needs to be seen for what it is!"
On the other hand, we may not want to rebel against reality, but we aren't sure exactly what promises to claim. Or we feebly claim them and make such statements as I have made, "We'll just have to trust the Lord." To which my husband remarks, "Has it come to that?" We end where we should begin!
God has already provided the resources we need; His provisions far exceed our needs. The delight of being daily in the Scriptures is that He guides us to the answers we need; He shows us the principles by which to live; He gives us the promise of His personal care.
I will be forever deeply influenced by something my brother shared with me at the time of my father's death. We were concerned for our mother, and he said, "You know, I was so agitated on the inside and then God showed me something. I was reading in 1 Peter, Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I noticed," he continued, "that in that second phrase cares is in the present tense. I don't have to go looking for God to tell him my troubles, He already knows. And He cares." I thought of the phrase from Romans 15:4, "so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."
The miracle of claiming the promises of God is that they change us as well as change our circumstances. We learn how to solve tension as the Holy Spirit works out self-control within us. Blessed are those who find out they don't always have to be right.
Page 85
And how pitiful are those who have no self-control, who let their emotional passions, their likes and dislikes rule their lives. They are quick to act and speak, but slow to believe that the Holy Spirit will help them in their weakness and that He prays for them according to the will of God (Romans 8:26).
We find ourselves learning to love others we don't think we could love by simply believing and claiming that "God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit he has given to us" (Romans 5:5). We aren't shut up to personal ability; His resources rescue us. If we act as we should, the feeling will follow. God's great plan is to redeem us by loving us. As His love passes through us to others the miracle of redemption happens all over again. I have known the most loveless, tense situations changed by one person who decided to love with God's kind of love.
Recently I talked with a young wife who resented her husband's involvement in his work and his often thoughtless behavior to his family. As the conversation continued it was plain to see that she shut herself away from him as punishment for his neglect. She became critical, complaining of his time away, of her children, of her home, of everything.
Because her husband was of a carefree, happy nature, this was subconsciously unpleasant to him. He did not know how to grapple directly with the tension he felt, so he avoided it. He stayed away as much as he could let his work justify. The children were trapped; they reacted by being as naughty as they could.
I made only one suggestion: that she begin scattering seeds of praise around in the lives of those she loved. I think every woman ought to keep her pockets full of praise and be eager to cast the seed abroad into fertile ground. I don't mean false flattery, but the kind of thankfulness and appreciation of
Page 86
another's personhood that makes others better people. It's another way to let the love of God be shed abroad in our hearts.
God always encourages us; He never discourages us. Discouragement is catching, like a dreadful plague. When the twelve spies returned to the Israelites after spying out the land of Canaan, ten of the men gave so discouraging a report that the hearts of the people filled with fear and they lifted up their voices and cried. They refused to go into the land God had promised them. Later when God gave instructions concerning the warfare necessary to possess the land, He said that the officers of the people were to ask, "Is any man afraid or faint-hearted? Let him go home so that his brothers will not become disheartened too" (Deuteronomy 20:8). It takes spiritual maturity to resist the discouragement of others.
Often our discouragement is a matter of pride. We are discouraged that we are not as good as we thought we were. Either we have seen our own imperfection or it has been pointed out to us. Someone hurt our feelings, or we are lonely. We are disappointed. Arthur Glasser once pointed out to a group of missionary candidates the strategy Satan uses to discourage us. He diagrammed it as downward steps to defeat: Disappointment - Disillusionment - Discouragement - Dejection - Defeat.
Page 87
If you watch your own emotionally bleak periods you will find this pattern at work. Does one step need to fall into the next? Can we stop the downward pull? Yes, at any point. The remedy is the sacrifice of praise found in Hebrews 13:15, "Let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise — the fruit of lips that confess his name."
You may not feel like praising God. That doesn't matter. Do it. Take a psalm of praise and read it until the truth leaps off the page into your heart. Take a hymnal and sing songs of praise. Is God worthy to be praised? Then praise Him; the feeling will come later and His praises will pull you out of the pit.
God lets us cooperate with Him in this way, exercising the muscles of our will. The Bible says, "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you" (Isaiah 26:3). God's promise is perfect peace, but it is conditioned by our keeping our mind fixed on him. He gave us our will so that we could use it for our good and His praise.
God will not allow us to be passive in experiencing His goodness. The Bible says, "Let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Our part: let your requests be make known. But the passage goes on: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things" (Philippians 4:6-8). It's a choice we have to make. Will we be anxious and fuss? Or will we tell Him our requests? Will we allow our minds to dwell on the grubby side of life, or will we furnish our minds with worthy thoughts? Maturity chooses the best in the face of stress.
But anyone who is honest and realistic knows the
Page 88
downward pull is strong. When life is hard it isn't easy to choose the positive, to focus our minds on God or even to think about other excellent things. We are like Peter walking on the water. We do fairly well until we begin to look at the waves instead of Jesus. Yet we determine so much about our lives by the exercise of our wills. Elaborate all the psychological bruises that make life grim, and you are still stuck with a grim life. At some point we are left with a decision about our intentionality. What do we intend to do? We may sometimes have our low moments, but God will maximize our intentions.
A maturing Christian realizes that the praise-worthiness of God is the source of all joy. It is His excellence, the steadfastness of His love, the perfection of His character, His faithfulness to mankind that is the wellspring of all joy. Because of Him we can know joy in an imperfect, troubled world. Our feelings of happiness which are dependent on circumstances may come and go. But joy is deep-seated; it is not dependent on circumstances. Jesus said that He wanted His joy to be in us, and that the secret of joy was to abide in Him, as branches abide in the vine (John 15:1-11). Joy comes out of a relationship with God.
From the first announcement of the coming of Jesus Christ into the world, the Scriptures cry out, "Fear not" and "Be of good cheer." God is still God. He intervenes in our human affairs, and He is the source of our encouragement.
Thankfulness characterizes a maturing person. The Bible gives so many instructions about praise and thanksgiving. The New Testament is dotted with the phrase "and be thankful." In Romans 1 when men are described as choosing not to honor God as God, the description of their degeneracy adds,
Page 89
"neither did they give thanks to him." When Paul instructs Christians in Thessalonica about living the Christian life he tells them to "be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Thankfulness puts life in perspective. It is a statement that you know you don't deserve all you have; it puts you in a proper relationship with God.
Thankfulness makes people beautiful. It wouldn't hurt us to make a list of things we are thankful for and present it in our prayers before the Lord. Thankfulness lists will vary, but they may include: two bluejays on a branch outside the window, clean sheets, the yawn of a small child, fresh snow, a warm day, cold milk, a warm house, drip-dry clothes, privacy, friendships, the prayers of others. Thankfulness for small things helps us stand in awe of life.
Perhaps the hardest reality to fight through is also our greatest bondage: our need to forgive. Some people carry enormous loads of collected grievances, small hurts and large offenses. Their lives are weighted down until their vision is out of focus. Jesus died so we could lay our load at the foot of the cross. He came to make forgiveness a personal experience for everyone who would trust Him. Since we have been forgiven, He asks us to forgive. No freedom exists apart from our ability to forgive others. Forgiving others is proof that we understand our own forgiveness. If God can forgive me, who am I to fail to forgive someone else? (Luke 17:3-4)
Among the most beautiful events in human history I have witnessed have been the forgiving events that unite families and friends. Some people have never learned to say, "I'm sorry," and they are usually the ones who cannot say, "I forgive you." Those two phrases put into practice and added to "I love you" are the most freeing experiences in the world.
Page 90
It takes time to mature, but some have grown old without ever making it to maturity. Those who live in this kind of relationship with God grow rich and healthy and beautiful, and those closest to them rise up and call them blessed.
