A Choice of the Heart
So this is what the Sovereign LORD says:
"See, I lay a stone in Zion,
a tested stone,
a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation;
the one who trusts will never be dismayed."
ISAIAH 28:16
I was struggling with doubt again. At times it seemed I had come so far from that night in the university chapel, and then at other times I seemed to be right back where I'd started. I had just come home from a retreat, and the words of the speaker were still buzzing in my head. In contrast to my turmoil, the speaker had seemed so at peace. In contrast to my discontentment, she had seemed so satisfied. In contrast to my weariness, she had seemed to be bubbling over with a quiet but inexhaustible joy.
It was February and still chilly, but I went outside and sat alone on the steps of our deck. I had been challenged by the speaker's faith and by her simple trust in God. Why couldn't I have that? In previous years I had
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looked into evidences for Christianity and had been convinced of their sufficiency, but sometimes doubt still sneaked up and waylaid me before I even saw it coming. What was I missing?
Was it really possible to live in close communion with God? Was it really possible to experience his power in my life? Was it possible to believe that he loves me more than I could ever love anyone? Was it possible that I could really possess the peace that transcends all understanding?
Then I noticed a disturbing trend in my thoughts. At least in some way for as long as I could remember, I had always been questioning. I had made a decision to follow God and trusted him with my soul, but on a daily basis I did not live in that trust. It suddenly struck me how many times the Bible commands us to believe (Prov 3:5; Mk 5:36; Heb 10:23). I had fallen into the trap of subconsciously thinking that what I believed was not necessarily something I had control over. But now as I considered various Bible passages, I couldn't escape the notion that believing must be something I could choose to do.
What is your response to the idea that believing is something we can choose to do?
The Choice in Faith
God doesn't ask us to produce faith in a vacuum. As was discussed in chapter two, healthy faith is firmly grounded in reality. We need to ask questions and know what the foundation is for belief in Christ. But then we must make a choice. If no amount of investigation is enough for us and we are never willing to make a decision based on the answers we find, our investigation is useless. Unfortunately, not to decide to believe is the same as deciding not to believe.
Rationale + Choice = Faith?
While the equation of faith includes the elements of rationale and choice, this is not all it includes. The Bible teaches that there is also a mystifying divine element at work that is beyond the scope of human grasp. Who can understand this incomprehensible soul-talk of God's drawing us, revealing truth and giving capacity
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for belief? It is the combination of these elements that can culminate in a life-changing faith — a wholehearted surrender of the inner being.
Faith is a choice. Realizing this has been revolutionary in my life. Faith is a decision — not just of the mind but of the whole being — when we first come to Christ, and our choice does not end there. Choosing to believe is a continual process in the life of faith. When we stop deciding to believe, our Christian growth stalls and our faith stagnates.
This is not to say that once we become Christians all inquiry should stop. Healthy investigation is crucial to a growing faith. As Os Guinness explains in In Two Minds, "Different stages of our lives need different levels of comprehension to match our growth and maturity.... The challenges to faith will go on and must go on being answered."1 Yet we shouldn't abandon our faith every time we don't understand something. At this point our inquiry should be performed from inside our faith.
Do you agree that choosing to believe is a continual process in the life of faith? Why or why not?
How does it work for a person to explore additional questions from within the framework of faith?
The Role of the Will
Key to continuing in the choice of faith is understanding that the life of faith must be lived in the will, not the emotions. Many times I try to live it the other way around without even realizing it. When I am surrounded by Christian friends and feel happy and spiritual, I overflow with faith. But when I encounter something difficult or feel gloomy and unspiritual, my faith suddenly evaporates, and I find myself in a desert of doubt and despair. Many times nothing objective has really changed; I still have the same reasons for believing Christianity is true. Only my feelings have changed.
As Guinness writes, "Out-voted, out-gunned, faith is pressed back and hemmed in by the unruly mob of raging emotions which only a while earlier were quiet, orderly citizens of the personality. Reason is cut down, obedience is thrown out, and for a while the rule of the emotions is as sovereign as it is violent."2
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But it doesn't have to be this way. Our emotions don't have to have the final say. It is our will, not our emotions, that governs us. As Hannah Whitall Smith explains, "It is sometimes thought that the emotions are the governing power in our nature. But I think all of us know... that there is something within us, behind our emotions and behind our wishes, an independent self, that after all, decides everything and controls everything."3
| The common thought is that this life hid with Christ in God is to be lived in the emotions, and consequently all the attention of the soul is directed toward them, and as they are satisfactory or otherwise, the soul rests or is troubled. Now, the truth is, that this life is not to be lived in the emotions at all, but in the will; and therefore, if only the will is kept steadfastly abiding in its center, God's will, the varying states of emotion do not in the least disturb or affect the reality of the life. HANNAH WHITALL SMITH4 |
I don't think I have ever experienced this more vividly than when I went rappelling in Alaska with some friends. They carefully demonstrated how to put on the harness and use the ropes. I had seen them go down safely before me. I was confident that I understood the instructions, and I didn't doubt that the rope was strong enough to hold me. But when it actually came time to jump backwards off the side of the cliff, I was so scared I could hardly breathe. It took every ounce of willpower I had to overrule the fear and take that backward jump. But I did it!
In a similar way we can choose to rein in our emotions in matters of faith and decide to believe the truth we know. Our will can choose to let our emotions dictate to our faith, or it can choose to let our faith dictate to our emotions. Our emotions may protest, but in the end, when we set our will on a particular path, our emotions follow. And it is the decision of our will that God considers the decision of our selves — regardless of how unruly our emotions may be.
Are Emotions the Enemy?
Saying that we shouldn't always follow our emotions in matters of faith doesn't mean that our emotions are not valuable. Our emotions are God-given and are an intrinsic part of our beings. For example, without the emotion of fear I might rappel off the side of a cliff without ever checking my rope.
Also, our emotions will not always be in contrast to our faith. Sometimes it is our very emotions that cry out for God. As the psalmist wrote, "My soul thirsts for God, for the living God" (Ps 42:2).
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Have you experienced times when your faith has turned to doubt without any objective reason? If so, describe some of the circumstances surrounding these times.
Name a time when your will had to overrule your emotions to complete a task?
Do you agree that the life of faith should be lived in the will rather than the emotions? Why or why not?
Four Things to Do When Doubt Strikes
Prayerfully identify the source of doubt.
Remind yourself why you believe and ask yourself if this new question might change or outweigh these reasons. (Your journal can help you with this.)
If the answer is no, make a conscious decision to believe, even as you attempt to find answers to the new question.
If the answer is yes, ask yourself what you need to do to resolve this question — and then do it.
An Experiment
That day on the deck I was very discouraged. However, insight into the choice involved in faith seemed to offer a glimmer of hope. I wondered if it really could make any difference, but I saw no option but to give it a try. So I rallied just enough determination to decide to make continually choosing to believe and living in the reality of that belief my top priority for at least the next two weeks. I felt strangely as if I were diving blindfolded off a steep cliff, hoping beyond hope that the refreshing pool of God's love was really waiting for me below.
| Trust in the dark, trust in the light, trust at night and trust in the morning, and you will find that the faith that may begin perhaps by a mighty effort will end, sooner or later, by becoming the easy and natural habit of the soul. It is a law of spiritual life that every act of trust makes the next act less difficult, until at length, if these acts are persisted in, trusting becomes, like breathing, the natural unconscious action of the redeemed soul. HANNAH WHITALL SMITH5 |
I could never have imagined how my life would change in those weeks. It was as if I had never before tasted the fullness of Christianity. When doubt threatened, I examined the doubt, compared it with the truth I knew, and chose to
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believe God and live in obedience to that belief. I chose to believe God loved me. I chose to believe God had forgiven me. I chose to believe that God was completing his work in me through the power of his Holy Spirit. And I chose to believe that he heard me when I prayed and that his plan was always best.
Before this time I had been frustrated by all the promises about peace and joy in the Bible. But by the end of those two weeks I was able to catch a glimpse of this peace and joy and know for myself that these weren't just idealistic promises but solid realities for those who chose to live in faith.
| For this reason I kneel before the Father... I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. EPHESIANS 3:14-19 |
I would like to be able to say that since that afternoon I have always continued in the practice of choosing faith. I must admit, however, that sometimes I get discouraged and distracted. I am still very much in the process of building the habit of faith in my life. But I can say that I have experienced too much of the peace, joy, contentment and power that this choice brings to ever desire to give up the quest.
Where from Here?
You have covered much information in this book. But all the time you have invested in working through it will be wasted if after you finish the last sentence you simply put it down and walk away. Here are some things you can do to continue your journey.
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and take note of the questions you still have. Then think through what you will need to do to answer these questions and determine the bearing they have on your faith.
Do you think sufficient reason exists for belief in Christianity? Why or why not?
Have you chosen or are you ready to choose to trust in the God of Christianity? If so, on what are you basing this decision?
Do you need to investigate anything further before you are ready to decide? If so, what specifically do you need to investigate? What is the next step you need to take?
Digging Deeper
The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Revel, 1966). Written by a Quaker woman in the 1800s, this powerful little book, still in print over one hundred years later, offers practical instruction on how to find true fulfillment through the choice of faith.
Beyond Ourselves by Catherine Marshall (New York: McGraw-Gill, 1961). This spiritual autobiography recounts Marshall's adventure in faith and gives practical instruction, especially in the areas discussed in this chapter, on establishing a more meaningful relationship with God.
In Two Minds: The Dilemma of Doubt and How to Resolve It by Os Guinness (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 1977). This thorough book explores the relationship between faith and doubt, identifies seven basic kinds of doubt and proposes ways to resolve each of them.
