A Life in the Shadows

Mary was the kind of mother you want to live near. I've known people who have moved several states or several time zones away from home just to escape overbearing, obsessive parents. But Mary wasn't like that.

   When Jesus was about thirty years old, his three years of public ministry began. But Jesus didn't just wake up one morning, pack his bags and leave home. The first year of his ministry was a year of transition. Jesus was baptized in the Jordan River by his relative John and then spent six weeks in the wilderness, enduring the temptations of Satan. After that Jesus spent a lot of time at home.

   John is the only Gospel writer to tell us much about the first year of Jesus' work, a year of relative obscurity. The other Gospels begin their story with Jesus calling Peter, Andrew, James and John to follow him as disciples. I was always confused

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by those stories when I heard them in Sunday school. I imagined Peter and Andrew mending their nets on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, whistling the latest "hits," minding their own business. Suddenly, an unknown man came up to them said, "Follow me!" and, almost as if they were hypnotized, the four fishermen dropped everything and followed Jesus.

   In John's Gospel, however, we find that Jesus met these men on several occasions before he called them to follow him. They spent time together but not yet on a permanent basis. Jesus was developing a relationship with these men, and they were beginning to recognize the spiritual greatness of Jesus. They knew that in time the call to follow Jesus permanently would come, and they had already decided that when the call came they would follow.

   It is during that first year of transition ministry that we find Jesus and Mary together at a celebration. "A wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples [only four or five men at this point] had also been invited to the wedding" (John 2:1-2). Cana was just a few miles from Jesus' hometown. It's possible that this was the wedding of one of Jesus' relatives and that Mary was acting as the hostess. She seems to be responsible to see that everything went smoothly.

   Overseeing a wedding is a difficult job anytime, but it was especially stressful in Jesus' day. Today we come to a church, witness the ceremony, go to the reception for a few hours and then go home. All that's left for the family to do is clean up and pay the bills! In Jesus' day, the parents of the bride and groom got things started years earlier. They made a contract for the marriage when their children were very young. My occasional threats to pick mates for my own children are always met with smiles and rolled eyes and that particularly exasperated look from my wife, but in the first century that was how it was done.

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When the wedding day came, the groom with all the guests made a long, noisy procession to the bride's house. The wedding vows were spoken at the bride's home. Then the groom took the bride by the hand, and the procession went back to the groom's home or to his parents' home. A jubilant feast followed. The wedding feast lasted from two to seven days — a reception for a week!

   The groom's parents were responsible to feed and care for all the guests the whole time. If they ran out of food or wine during the feast, it was considered an insult to the guests and a humiliation for the family. Not having enough to eat and drink was the one thing you never wanted to happen, but on this occasion it did. The wine was gone (John 2:3).

   Since we never read of Joseph in this passage, most Bible scholars conclude that Joseph had died sometime in Jesus' early adulthood.¹ As the oldest son of the family, Jesus now had the responsibility of caring for Mary and helping her. So when this problem came up, she went to Jesus for help. I don't think Mary had any idea about what Jesus would do, but she knew he would help her somehow.²

Talking to Your Mother

Nowhere in the New Testament is Jesus said to call Mary "mother." In fact his reply to her here seems disrespectful. "Woman, what do I have to do with you?" (John 2:4 NASB). The Greek text is even more curt: "What is this of yours to me?" or "How does this problem of yours involve me?"

   When Jesus calls Mary "woman," it is not a sign of disrespect; the title is actually a very tender form of reference. He uses the same word to address his mother when he is dying on the cross. The New International Version comes closer to the meaning with "dear woman." "Dear woman," Jesus says, "how does this problem of wine involve me?" Then he adds, "My time has not

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yet come." Repeatedly in John's Gospel Jesus talks about "my time" or "my hour," referring to the time of his death. What he means here is that the focus of his life is on his ultimate destiny, not on following instructions from his mother. Mary may have implied some command or demand in her statement to Jesus, such as "They have no wine. Go get some."

   Jesus, however, has reached maturity. His ministry had started, and he's already begun to gather disciples. Jesus had fully made the transition that began eighteen years earlier in the temple. His focus is on the ultimate purpose of his life. Mary has not yet made the transition from parent to follower. Jesus is no longer under her authority; he is under the Father's authority. When the Father says, "This is your time," Jesus will obey. His words were a gentle but needed rebuke to Mary.

   Mary understood Jesus' words, at least in part. She turned and walked away with one simple command to the servants: "Do whatever he tells you" (John 2:5). Within minutes Jesus miraculously made more than one hundred gallons of water into fine wine. Jesus did not do the miracle simply to save a bridegroom from embarrassment; he did it to reveal his own glory (John 2:11). Jesus was not responding to Mary's direction but to his Father's will. Somehow the Father prompted Jesus to perform the first of thousands of mighty works of power.

   The disciples responded exactly the way they should have responded to a wondrous work of God, by putting their faith in Jesus. They were already persuaded that Jesus had great spiritual insight and a godly character. Now they came to realize that Jesus was the promised Messiah. The ancient prophets had said repeatedly that the coming of the Anointed One would be marked by an abundance of miraculous deeds.³ What the disciples saw at the wedding in Cana moved their relationship with Jesus to a whole new level.

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Mary's Message

When I began to think about Mary as a model for spiritual growth, I also began to watch the bookstore shelves for books about Mary. In the last few years the religion section at our local mall bookstore has featured several books about Mary and her reported appearances. One book that caught my eye a few months ago was titled Mary's Final Message to the World. The author takes all the statements from people who claim to have received some message from Mary and tries to distill everything down to a few basic directives from Mary to the world.

   Mary's statement to the servants at the wedding in Cana are the last direct words of Mary recorded in the Bible. Mary appears several more times in the biblical record, but none of her statements is recorded. It's almost as if the Spirit of God, as he directed the writing of Scripture, wanted to preserve the profound impact of these words from Mary: "Do whatever he tells you."

   I certainly don't want to spiritualize Mary's statement beyond the context of John 2, but it seems to me that this is a more reliable message to us than anything received through those who claim to have seen or heard Mary in the last two thousand years. "Do whatever he tells you to do." Mary points away from herself as the solution to the problem and points to her son alone.

   Seen in that light, Mary's words have profound implications in some important areas of Christian thought and practice. In worship, for example, our praise and adoration are to be directed to Christ, not to Mary. The Roman Catholic Church makes an official distinction between adoration (which belongs to God alone) and veneration (a lesser form of devotion directed to Mary, the saints and even angels).⁴ While Catholic theology makes that official distinction, in Catholic practice it seems difficult to see much actual difference. The focus on

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Mary in the liturgy of the church and in the beliefs of some Catholics elevates her to a level virtually equal with Christ. Pope John Paul II has been unwavering in his devotion to Mary and calls her "the Mother of God, the Mother of the Church, and our Mother in the order of grace."⁵ These titles raise Mary far above any statements made about her in Scripture. The writers of the New Testament and the apostle Paul in particular were very emphatic that "in everything" Jesus Christ was to "have the supremacy" (Colossians 1:18). Mary is never the focus of worship in the New Testament.

   No one in the New Testament ever prays to Mary, or through Mary either. Despite a long tradition of prayers addressed to Mary and hymns of exaltation to her in both the Catholic and Orthodox Churches, no hint of such a practice appears anywhere in Scripture. I understand in a sense why it seems appealing to pray to Mary. Mary seems more like we are, more approachable. If Mary stands close to Jesus (as some churches teach), why not approach her or another saint and ask them to make an appeal to Jesus or to God the Father on your behalf?

   Approaching Mary in prayer may seem easier than approaching God directly, but it raises a whole host of issues from a biblical perspective. I've already pointed out one problem — we can find no hint of prayers to a saint anywhere in the Bible. Those churches that advocate praying to God through Mary or through other saints base the practice on the teaching authority of the church, not directly on any biblical example or teaching. Prayer in the New Testament is always addressed to God alone. Any member of the Trinity may be addressed in prayer, but the pattern seen most often in Scripture is to pray to the Father through the Son by (or in) the Spirit. Normally we voice our praise and requests to God the Father, the source of all good gifts (James 1:17; see also Ephesians 3:14-16). We come to the Father because Jesus, God the Son, has pioneered the way for

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us into the Father's presence (Hebrews 9:24; 10:21-22). Empowerment for prayer comes from the Spirit of God, who dwells in us and who moves our hearts to adoration (Ephesians 6:18). In the Bible saving grace and sustaining grace come from God alone. No apostle, no prophet, no man or woman of God is ever portrayed as a channel of grace.

   It also seems to me that if we pray to Mary or pray to God through Mary, we cloud the ministry of Jesus as our priest before the Father. Jesus made the full and final sacrifice for sin, and by virtue of that sacrifice he entered into God's presence for us. He is the only mediator between God and human beings (1 Timothy 2:5). He is the only one who can put his hand on both humanity and God and who can bring peace between us. Jesus is our advocate, our priest, with the Father.

   Prayer through Mary (or any saint) also clouds the biblical truth that we as believers are priests before God (Hebrews 13:15-16; 1 Peter 2:5; Revelation 1:6). When you trusted Christ as Savior and Lord, one of the blessings God gave you was to make you a priest. Every believer has the high calling of the priesthood! As priests we can come directly to God. I don't have to be so afraid of God that I stand far away from him. I don't have to ask Mary or a saint in heaven or a pastor here on earth to take my request to God because God is too busy to notice me. In the Father's presence stands my Savior, and because he is there, I can come to the Father without fear. I come with awe, I come with deep reverence for God's majesty, but I come boldly, knowing that my small concerns are, in fact, God's personal concerns (1 Peter 5:7).

Making It Personal

I had a call last week from a woman who wanted me to pray for her dissolving marriage and for her wandering husband. "Maybe if you pray," she said, "it will do some good. I've prayed

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and prayed, but nothing has changed. Maybe God will respond if you pray." I promised her I would pray, but I couldn't let her go without adding some words of instruction. I told her that God did hear her prayers. She had God's attention as much as I did. Enlisting other believers to pray with us is a solidly biblical practice, but we should never think that one believer's prayer goes higher or reaches closer to God than another believer's prayer.

   The woman's response to what I said exposed a deeper issue than a simple misunderstanding of the theology of prayer. She said, "But I feel so unworthy. I don't feel like I can ask God for anything." That's really the problem in prayer, isn't it? How can we dare to walk into the presence of God with our seemingly puny needs? And why would the awesome, holy God reigning way up there ever be moved to consider a request from someone as unworthy of his attention as I am?

   By ourselves, we are unworthy. In our own ragged garments, it is the height of presumption to address the God of eternity. But as believers we come before him clothed in the perfection of his own Son. Our sin has been removed by the sacrifice of the cross. When we received God's grace in Jesus Christ, all of Christ's righteous purity was poured out on us. We are sinners; we are unworthy of the abundance of God's blessings. But what God declares to be true is true, even if we don't always feel it's true of us.

   So when I'm at the bottom, sitting in a pigeon hole of my own rebellious disobedience or crying in some dark emotional cave, my heavenly Father strains to hear the weakest sobs of repentance or pain. He has made us worthy of his attention in Christ. We are his own dear children.

   Those who claim to hear Mary speak or who wait for some glimpse of her in a window or in a formation of clouds are looking in vain for some connection, some message that will

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bring a glimmer of hope into their lives. Mary's words in John 2 still ring powerfully today: "Do whatever he tells you to do." The focus of Mary's life, the power of Mary's testimony cuts like a laser beam to her son Jesus Christ.

Chapter 11  ||  Table of Contents