Sliding from the
Wheel
Have you ever felt you had lost touch with God?
That you needed to send out an all-points missing-person bulletin to see if God could be found? What was happening to you just did not mesh with your concept of a loving God, so obviously He wasn't around and wasn't involved.
I felt like that when our adopted Korean daughter, Debbie, was killed in a bus accident on a church-sponsored trip near San Clemente, California. She had just turned twelve. I had committed my whole life to Jesus Christ, putting myself into the hands of the Master Potter, fourteen years earlier. We had walked with the Lord during the pain after Robin's birth as a Down's syndrome child, and her death two years later. He had personally reassured me with His presence at two critical times in Robin's short life. And God had used her book, Angel Unaware, to release a floodgate of opportunities to witness for Him.
Debbie had been a gift from God to our family. Now she was gone, in one of those senseless accidents that provide no answers for grief-stricken parents.
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It's not as though I needed more trauma either. Roy was in the hospital for a spinal fusion. There he had developed a staph infection, and he had been in real danger. My whole being was focused on getting him well and back on his feet. Then came the news of the bus crash.
Roy could not help me with any of the arrangements. They had just moved him to the convalescent hospital the day Debbie was killed, indicating he was out of real danger. But very quickly a problem developed and they had to take him back into the acute care hospital. So I was left without Roy's help in making all of the funeral arrangements and the family arrangements.
God help me up during the hectic days of getting ready for the funeral, during the funeral, and the things I had to do right after the funeral. Yet two weeks later I began to slip.
Emotionally Vulnerable
Roy was still in the hospital. I was looking through Debbie's clothes alone, her little toys and other things. All of a sudden the devil really tempted me.
"Do you think God really cares about you?" he asked. And in that unguarded moment I let his whisper become a shout in my thoughts, just like Eve in the Garden of Eden. I began to slip off the Master Potter's wheel, to doubt that there was any purpose in this senseless death of a loving, promising daughter.
I was working on the closet in which Debbie's clothes were hanging. I closed the door and squalled for three hours. I could not stem the tears as I complained to God, "I don't like what You have done.
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I don't think it is fair, and I do not see any reason for it. I just don't get it."
I was fast slipping from the Master Potter's wheel when I went into the kitchen to cook supper. I began to work in the kitchen, banging pots, pounding on the stove, letting my anger run full course — I was really airing my grievances to God.
My mother, who had come for Debbie's funeral came into the kitchen. She grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "Frances [my given name], sit down here. I am ashamed of you. Where is your faith?"
I turned to her and asked, "Mamma, did you ever lose a child?"
"No," she said.
"Then you don't know," I said, "You don't understand. You just don't understand what I am going through."
Then she said, "Sit down. Let me talk to you."
I sat down.
"Do you know how Debbie loved flowers? She was always picking me flowers from other people's yards on her way home from school. God's garden is the world, and people are His flowers. He has a very big house, so He wants flowers for His house.
"Sometimes He picks one that's mature, with the leaves already falling. Sometimes He picks one that has just opened. And sometimes He picks one that is only a little bud. God has simply picked your Debbie while she is a little bud. He is the Gardener. It's His home, so doesn't He have the right?"
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Back in His Hands
Through my mom's words, the Master Potter gently put me back in the center of His wheel and continued His shaping process. I had begun to slip because I had started to question His loving purpose for Debbie — but also for Roy and me and the other children. Restoration came when I stopped complaining and recommitted myself to His shaping for my life.
The psalmist Asaph similarly began to slip off the Master Potter's wheel. Asaph describes what went on in his head in Psalm 73:2-3,5:
But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled; My steps had nearly slipped. For I was envious of the boastful, When I saw the prosperity of the wicked...They are not in trouble as other men, Nor are they plagued like other men.
Slipping....slipping...slipping...almost gone. A person at that point says, along with Asaph:
Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain, And washed my hands in innocence. For all day long I have been plagued, And chastened every morning. (Ps. 73:13-14)
Is this kind of questioning of God's purposes in a time of great trauma simply the result of spiritual immaturity, of deliberate turning against God? Not necessarily; we may be slipping off the Master Potter's wheel because of more than spiritual reasons.
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When Satan Attacks
Consider the young mother whose divorce has just become final after her husband walked out on her — an all-too-common experience today. I can certainly relate to that, since my son, Tom, was only an infant when my high school sweetheart husband abandoned me. Like most mothers single because of divorce, I cried buckets for a year. I still loved him, wanted him back, even though I was angry that he had tossed Tom and me aside like something useless.
You'll remember that I had given my heart to Jesus at age ten. I had been very active in the youth group at our church, becoming a leader as a very young high-schooler. I knew that the Bible had the answers. So I determined I would read the Bible through in a year — and I did. Yet, amazingly, I cannot remember gaining much from it except comfort from the Psalms, since they contained many expressions of outrage that matched my own.
That Bible reading had no significant impact on how I behaved over the next twenty-five years. It did not change my priorities in life — I remained determined to make a name for myself as an entertainer. It did not establish guidelines for my choosing another husband, for I never used biblical principles in selecting a mate in subsequent marriages (see chapter 8).
Why did Bible reading have so little impact on my life? Was it because I was so young when I began? Not really, for I was already a junior in high school and loved literature and history. Was it because I had so little biblical background against which to assimilate biblical information? Not really, for I had been so active in Sunday school and youth work that I had a basic biblical framework in place.
A significant reason, but not the only one, was my emotional upheaval as a result of my first husband's
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leaving — and my having to file for divorce myself. That emotional trauma is also the reason for the inability of many newly divorced single mothers to assimilate the heavy doses of spiritual wisdom we keep trying to share with them.
A Matter of Energy Levels
You see, God made us truly unique as human beings. He built into us specific levels of energy for physical activity, intellectual activity, emotional activity and spiritual activity. When we are, for example, involved in heavy physical activity, we talk about being "drained" and too tired to do anything until we regain some energy. We don't like to talk, read, or even pray.
Similarly, when we experience severe emotional trauma — for me, events like my husband's leaving me with a baby, the death of Debbie while Roy was in the hospital — for you, perhaps the loss of a house in a flood, hurricane, or tornado, even a teenage son's or daughter's arrest and conviction for drug use or burglary — we become "drained" of energy as well.
During that time our physical energy may be almost zero — we've used up so much emotional energy it's a huge effort just to get out of bed. Our intellectual energy may be extremely low; we don't even want to think about what we'll make for supper, much less read a book. Similarly, our spiritual energy may be so low we cannot even pray. We may read the Bible, but remember nothing — and the truths that normally leap off the pages of the Bible don't mean anything to us.
No wonder Satan approaches us at such times of extreme emotional distress. We can't think straight so
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his simple, direct suggestions seem to make sense. Repeated, they begin to wear a groove in our brains, enjoying a life of their own. This would never happen if we were not experiencing emotional trauma.
When my mother sat me down to help me get perspective on Debbie's death, she did not give me an involved spiritual argument. Instead, she painted a picture of a little girl bringing home flowers, a most familiar scene, and of God picking a flower for His garden. With my limited intellectual capacity at that moment, since my energy had been used up in my emotional upheaval, I could see and understand the implications of that picture. It made sense to me and restored my faith in a loving God.
Notice how the psalmist Asaph describes his emotional upheaval from distress over the success of the unrighteous and the struggles of the righteous.
Thus my heart was grieved, And I was vexed in my mind. I was so foolish and ignorant; I was like a beast before you. (Ps. 73:21-22)
That certainly sounds like someone whose emotions were using so much of his intellectual energy that he could not think clearly. Until, of course, he entered the place of worship, the sanctuary of God. That calmed his heart and his spirit, letting him begin to think clearly. That's when he saw what God really meant to him:
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Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, And afterward receive me to glory. (Ps. 73:23-24)
He recognized that the Master Potter's plan is truly the best, that nothing that happens is outside the love of God. With basic assumptions like that, he could let the Master Potter put him back in the center of the wheel.
Oh yes, what about the wicked? Suddenly that was not as important to Asaph as what God meant to him, for he took two verses to describe the fate of the wicked and four verses to express what God meant to him. Instead of Asaph's being on slippery ground, sliding off the Master Potter's wheel, he says:
Surely You set them in slippery places; You cast them down to destruction. Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment! (Ps. 73: 18-19)
Once you have your head on straight about God, your emotional healing also accelerates. So the last verse of the psalm reveals Asaph's renewed commitment to the Master Potter.
But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, That I may declare all Your works. (Ps. 73:28)
We're Still Not Perfect
Another factor that entered into my slipping from the wheel of the Master Potter is one we are all subject to: our sinful nature. I'm an old-fashioned Christian,
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and I believe in original sin. I believe it is inside us. We have a spiritual nature as a result of the new birth, but we retain our human nature.
During times of crisis, or when we succumb to temptation, the human nature takes over and we rebel against God. We consciously slip from the wheel of the Master Potter. Then, because we don't want to repent of our sin, we stay off the wheel — until the Holy Spirit chastens us enough to move us to repentance.
When I cried out against God after Debbie's death I rebelled for a few hours only. I never doubted that God was there, but I was hurt and could not understand it. I was trying to fit what He was letting happen into my understanding. But there is no understanding God.
If we release what is bothering us to Him, He may give us understanding in other ways — usually much later, after he has been able to shape us more into His image. Once we have responded to His tap on the shoulder, He will not be satisfied until He gets us back. He certainly has done that for me.
What restored the psalmist Asaph's faith in a just God? Did his priest engage him in a lengthy theological dissertation? There's no record of that. He entered the sanctuary of God, we read in Psalm 73:17. There he was clearly overwhelmed by the sovereignty and justice of God. In quietness before God, his focus changed from jealousy over the success of sinners to recognition that he did not have to worry about God's system of justice. What really counted was where you ended up in eternity, not how much you thought you got away with during earth's short lifetime.
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More Reasons for Sliding
Yet, you ask, what about those people having achieved a certain celebrity status in the world, who seem to go on the wheel of the Master Potter, only to slip off rather quickly?
I believe the answer is found in Jesus' parable of the sower. He describes four kinds of people who hear the Word of God and, from the public's point of view, have made a decision for Christ. The first kind hear the Word, but the devil, Jesus says, comes and takes away the Word from their heart. That's because the seed of the Word fell along the hard path, Jesus reveals, and the birds come and eat it up.
From my perspective, this describes people who grew up in a Christian home, attended church regularly, heard the Bible message proclaimed, and made a public decision for Jesus Christ because it seemed the thing to do. Their hearts were never really softened to the Savior; in fact, they may actually have been hardened through what they saw other Christians do, or by what they experienced in the church. So their profession of faith is a cultural act, possibly to get approval. They never were on the wheel of the Master Potter — they only appeared to be. So when Satan and his cohorts (the bird of the air) tempt them sexually or with alcohol or drugs, with money and power, they listen and succumb.
Satan teaches these folks how to rationalize their behavior as "normal," so they may stay in the church community and give the impression that they are Christians and on the wheel of the Master Potter. Amazingly, some even begin to preach the gospel because of the recognition it brings, hoping no one will
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discover their secret (and sometimes not so secret) sin. Unless they truly repent, they cannot genuinely believe and be saved.
According to Jesus, the second category of hearers is those who "when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root." They believe for a short while, but then fall away.
In the parable, this seed falls on rock, shoots out roots, but soon withers and dies. This kind of hearer may actually agree to be on the wheel of the Master Potter, but slides off during a time of testing.
I've seen this kind of hearer of the Word among celebrities. At an evangelistic campaign, through the witness of a friend in the movie or television community or a member of a professional sports team, these folk make a public commitment to Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, before the Word can take root in their hearts, before they are aware of the subtle dangers of public ministry, they are invited to share their testimony at all kinds of public events. At times they are paraded as prize specimens of God's power to save, even though they have very shallow spiritual roots.
They have not yet matured enough as believers to realize that Christ is the only perfect one, the one after whom they should model their lives and behavior. Their disappointment at what they experience in the Christian community sickens them and may cause
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them to turn their backs on Christ. They quickly slide off the wheel and all too often disappear from view as Christians.
The third type of hearer of the Word described by Jesus is the person who apparently starts out all right but is soon stumbled by the thorns of "cares, riches, and pleasure of life." Such a person never bears mature fruit. Only too quickly these people get caught up in a relentless round of activities that leave them less and less time to develop their relationship with the Master Potter.
They develop their own priorities, their own agendas, independent of God's will for their lives. Family worries, business worries, instant success, and addiction to pleasure crowd out their quiet times, then prayer, then fellowship with believers.
These folks are just too busy to give time to God. They are too busy for just being in His presence and listening. There is much talking, but very little listening. Yet you can hear His still, small voice only when you are quiet.
You'll hear these people say, "I made a decision for Jesus Christ," but they have no real fruit to show for it. I fit this category until I made my commitment to turn my whole life over to the Master Potter!
I rejoice for those in whom the seed of the Word has fallen on good soil, who hear the Word, accept it as true and valid for them and their lifestyles, and become fruitful in their witness for the Master Potter. I believe this became my category when I finally let the Master Potter put me on His wheel at age thirty-five.
I find it fascinating to see how God responds when we slide from the wheel of the Master Potter. I know He is genuinely disappointed at our rejection of His
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shaping. But instead of tossing us on the pile of waste, He lovingly and painstakingly pursues us. This process is best described in "The Hound of Heaven," a narrative poem by Francis Thompson.
I was miserable the first time I read it. It was an absolute picture of me running from God, the "Hound of Heaven," but I did not realize that until later. Only later did I recognize God's patient pursuit of me until I was willing to make Jesus Christ Lord of my life, and I saw ways in which He pursued me. God had developed an insider, a "mole" in spying terms, in the person of my son, Tom. My concern had been that he get the same kind of religious training I had received, but I had no idea God would use that concern, clearly planted by the Master Potter Himself, to win me for Himself.
You see, whenever I was able to afford to have my son, Tom, with me, I went to church with him. I believed this would be good for him. Sure I had to listen to many sermons presenting God's claim on my life, but I had developed hardened ears for that message. I could tune out any personal message because I wanted to stay on my agenda.
When he was ten years old, Tom gave his heart to Christ. He was very gifted musically, so as a young man he studied instrumental music at the University of Southern California. While still a student, he became associate director of music at Jack MacArthur's church. Ever since he had accepted Christ, he had been praying for me. He got people at the church to pray for me. He kept inviting me until I was ready to attend his church — and that's where the "Hound of Heaven" caught up with me.
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God uses other tactics as well to get us back on the wheel when we have taken ourselves off. He may use guilt, for it is the Holy Spirit's job to convict us of sin. We may miss the fellowship with others, for there is nothing in the world like the fellowship of true followers of Jesus. And we certainly don't have the warm assurance of God's presence that we experienced when we were on the Master Potter's wheel. Finally, we won't have the rest that only Jesus can give.
Resting in His Hands
Even today there are times when I get too busy for God. I lose the peace I had, and I ask myself, "What is wrong here? Why did I turn to my own devices instead of asking for God's help?" Naturally the Lord quickly restores His peace when I pray and invite Him to resume His shaping of me.
I love the promises of God for those who stay on the Master Potter's wheel. The writer of the book of Hebrews reminds us: "Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise" (Heb. 10:35-36).
I am looking forward to receiving what the Master Potter has promised, for He is truly faithful in fulfilling His plan for us. The admonition to persevere applies to another facet of being on the wheel of the Master Potter. For any number of reasons, a potter may have to set aside an object that is developing nicely because it has been marred — and how the Master Potter can reshape it.
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Reflecting on the Shaping
1. Describe a difficult experience during which you felt you were slipping out of the loving hands of the Master Potter.
2. What insight does Psalm 73 provide regarding the times when we begin to slip from the Master Potter's Wheel?
3. Examine Jesus' example of the soils into which the seed of the Word of God falls (Luke 8:4-18). Which kind of soil have you been?
4. As someone may have been of special help to you when you felt you were slipping from the wheel of the Master Potter, who might benefit from your insights and experience?
