When People Pray Together

   The book, Prayer Can Change Your Life, by Dr. William R. Parker (Prentice Hall) is the story of an unusual experiment which applies the methods of modern psychology to the study of prayer.

   By the use of three controlled groups, Dr. Parker and his coauthor, Elaine St. Johns, were attempting to find out if prayers, rightly understood and practiced, would equal the treatment of psychotherapy.

   For this purpose forty-five volunteers were interviewed and carefully divided into three groups of fifteen individuals each.

   Group 1 was to be given the best psychotherapy possible in weekly individual counseling sessions for the purpose of remedying emotional disorders.

   Group 2 was made up of the random pray-ers, who preferred neither the psychotherapy nor the prayer therapy. They were to pray alone every night during the nine months.

   Group 3 the prayer therapy group, was to meet weekly for a two-hour session to talk and pray together.

   All forty-five were given five recognized personality tests to determine what lay in the subconscious that might be a clue to the problems and disturbances in each life. The findings were also to act as a guide to determine progress at the end of the nine months.

   In the prayer therapy group, a sealed envelope was handed to each individual once a week, which contained his homework. On this slip was written some undesirable emotion, discovered through the tests, about which he has to

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pray earnestly for that one week; the next week he was told to forget about that one, and was given another envelope and another piece of homework. There was no suggestion made that the contents should be shared, but soon the group voluntarily began discussing and sharing their own experiences and the progress they were making. Dr. Parker reports that inhibitions and barriers crumbled as they recognized that each one needed the help and the healing and encouragement that came from sharing with the group.

   At the end of nine months, the tests revealed the following results:

   Group 1. Those receiving individual psychotherapy with no mention of religion or prayer, showed 65% improvement, but each desired more treatment during the coming months.

   Group 2. The random pray-ers, who prayed every night on their own showed no improvement at all.

   Group 3. The prayer therapy group showed 72% improvement both in symptoms and tests, and the conclusive evidence of spiritual healing was indicated by the fact that all of them wanted to help others as they had been helped.

   If you feel you need to be in a prayer group of this kind, you do not necessarily need to be in a controlled group such as Dr. Parker conducted. The story of what happened to the fifteen persons in the prayer therapy group has happened to many other groups who met and prayed with simplicity and honesty. It can happen to you and to your group. It isn't necessary that some certain person give you special lessons on conversational prayer.

   It is necessary only that you thoroughly believe in the therapy of group prayer, as taught by Jesus Christ in Matthew 18:19, 20.

   There are no formal or rigid rules for conducting any prayer group. We come together first of all to pray, and to be conscious that we are in the presence of God, where we

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find spiritual hope and healing for all the ills of body, mind and spirit.

1. How to Start a Prayer Group

   If you are not now connected with any group, and want to pray with someone, ask as the Lord Jesus has commanded. "Ask, and you shall receive." Start with one person. Send a copy of this book to a friend whose name will come to you when you pray. Find out later how he or she liked it, and suggest that you two meet together to pray. It is the Father who has made us members of His family, and it is His will that we find each other and learn to talk to Him together.

   If you are connected with some group, share with one or two of the members your own personal prayer failures. Do this without blaming anyone else, and then discuss the remedy which you believe will be helpful. Share this book or another book on prayer. Read it aloud together, and discuss it honestly, and then stop and pray together right there. New habits will have to be formed and old ones broken. This takes practice and concentration. Prayer's function is to set God at the center of your attention, and forget yourself and the impression you are making on others. As you open your own heart (saying I, when you mean yourself, and we, when you mean all of those present) you will find God's love and joy healing the old hurt places.

2. The Place

   Because this is an informal kind of prayer, the place too, should be informal. Not a large room or auditorium. Unless you can arrange the chairs in a circle in one corner, a small room is always better. It should be a place where you will be undisturbed. Any possibility of disturbance will tend to check the ease and freedom of those praying, and interrupt the line of thought. If your children are screaming in the basement, you are probably used to it by this time, but someone else may not be. Pray about the location and the right answer will come.

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3. The Size of the Group

   The Michigan church about which I wrote in Chapter 6 started their prayer meeting with twelve, with the idea of dividing as the group grows. Since they are new at praying aloud, it is better for them to stay together until a real love and union of hearts has been reached through conversing with God. Then as their hearts are open to Him who speaks to hearts, they will know when and how they should divide.

   In the Winnetka Bible church (Chapter 10) their groups range from two to six.

   In Lima, Ohio, a large group meets in a home, and after sharing and Bible study, groups of four and five go into almost every room in the house to pray.

   When the group is small, the members feel free to pray as often as they need to. If the group is too large, someone is sure to use it as an excuse to say to himself, "It doesn't matter if I don't pray, the others will." Small groups may upon occasion pray together as a large group. But the strength of any large group is in the smaller intimate prayer groups who meet God face to face.

4. The Time

   Any time is the time for group praying. Any time when two people can get together. A telephone conversation is a wonderful time to pray; you may feel self-conscious at first but that will soon go.

   The length of the prayer meeting will vary and will be determined, each time, by the needs of the group. I know of one group of young people which spent most of the forty-five minutes singing, reading Scripture, giving requests, with only about 5 or ten minutes for actual praying. After conversational prayer was introduced, they reversed the program! Actually, this group of teenagers prayed one and a half hours the first time they tried praying conversationally. They could scarcely believe it! They had enjoyed

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every minute and wanted more. That was because all of them were praying all the time.

5. The Position

   Sitting around the table draws people together in an easy yet intimate way. Sitting in a circle is also a favored position. Or kneeling by a sofa, or at an altar. Scattered seating is to be avoided. We are members of one family. And remember, don't pray into a sofa or a chair so no one can hear.

6. How to Make an Actual Beginning

   a. Explain to your group what conversational prayer is, and why you want to pray this way.

   b. Always remind yourselves, by a time of silence first, that you are actually in the presence of Jesus Christ. Act accordingly and prepare your heart in quiet worship. Don't be afraid of silence. He is there, and He speaks in a still small voice.

   c. Then let someone open with a prayer of thanks that Matthew 18:19, 20 is true. (That He is there with you. You have recognized His presence in your individual hearts in silence).

   d. Let others give thanks also, in sentence prayers. Give thanks first of all for the Lord Himself, for what He is like, for Himself alone. Then for His gifts: for eternal life, for some personal answer to prayer.

   e. Let the "asking" or requests wait until everyone has joined one or more times in the thanksgiving. This may take a little reminding, as many people do not distinguish between worship and requests, between the Giver and the gifts.

7. Giving Requests

   Stating prayer requests to the group before you start to pray can be a time-consuming and evasive practice. I well remember a meeting when the giving of requests lasted three times longer than the actual praying. It apparently

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is much easier to tell our problems to one another than to God.

   The familiar "unspoken requests" can also be evasive, and tend to draw the person who gave them farther off into his or her lonely position.

   As members of God's family (and members of the body of Christ) we are told to "bear one another's burdens." How can we do this unless we know the burdens others are carrying, and unless we make known our own burdens? "Bearing our own burden" could mean that the person who has the request upon his mind is the one who is to do the initial praying. Norman Grubb says that the man who has a definite desire or need is the man who has the faith to do the asking.

   As soon as one has prayed about his own burden, another in the group should pick it up and pray, too, mentioning the person by name. This is what we mean when we say, "praying by subjects" (Chapter 3). Let as many as feel led by the Holy Spirit pray for this person until he or she is able to give thanks, or until there is freedom for someone else to introduce a new subject of prayer.

8. Agreeing in Prayer

   Matthew 18:19, 20 tells us to agree in prayer and we shall have an answer. How do we know when we have agreed?

   Take the situation mentioned above. The person who made his difficulty known needs help. He may need some definite help. What is the next step he should take? Always ask yourself and ask the Lord, too: What is the next step?

   When we pray together the Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts and suggests ways and means. When we are quiet and aware that we are in His presence, we are exercising love for one another. The "tree prayer meeting" in Chapter 3 is a good example of this kind of praying, but that is such a brief example. I've seen members of a group bear someone's burden until the same answer "was given" to

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several at the same time! And there was fullness of joy, just as Jesus Christ promised in John 16:24.

   We agree that God's will be done. We agree by saying so when we pray. We agree that our brother will know the next step, even if it is doing nothing. Even if it is just waiting.

   People who meet in small groups to pray usually begin to know each other well. We do not need to explain things to God in prayer (because He knows everything) unless it will help relieve our minds. We may come with confidence and ask with confidence. If you need to explain things to each other, stop praying for a moment and do the explaining. Conversational praying is very natural, so whatever comes up, keep things natural.

   When we don't know what to agree about, that is when the group goes into real Spirit-filled love action. We remind the Lord of His promises, we hold our brother's situation up in prayer, we mention his name, we lift together (each member perhaps doing one of these things). With our minds set together in this way, we break through whatever darkness there is, or move whatever mountain may be in the way. This we do and believe we can do because Jesus Christ is present with us, and because we are asking in His nature, in His character and in His will. Asking in His Name means all of these things. We converse in prayer, we suggest, we wait, we break in, we become aware, we stay in tune. (Conversation is defined in Chapter 3).

9. The Leader

   This subject was purposely left until number 9, so that no undue emphasis might be put upon it. He or she is only a chairman, or a moderator, not really a "leader" at all. He should be sensitive, aware of the moving of the Spirit in the group, and of the brother or sister who needs that extra lift, which he can give by praying for him. As he feels moved by the Spirit, he can suggest various prayer subjects, examples of which will be listed in the next para-

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graph. However, don't ever feel that you must cover all of these in one meeting. It is the work of the Spirit to guide. And it is a life changing experience to see how He does this through the honest spoken needs of various members of the group.

10. Prayer Subjects

   Worship, thanksgiving, praise to God: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

   Prayer for our loved ones.

   Prayer for our own personal needs or projects.

   Prayer for each other (i.e., ask each one to pray for the person to his right or left).

   Prayer for your pastor and your church.

   Prayer for those involved in a current newspaper account of a tragedy, etc.

   Prayer for our nation, our statesmen, our missionaries.

11. Silence — Pauses

   Someone has said, "Right prayer demands a quieting of the whole being." We need to learn to be quiet, and to be consciously aware of Jesus Christ. We cannot pray quietly if we are in a hurry to get going again. It is in the silences, between prayers, that He speaks to us, and that our communion with Him purges and renews us. We should give audible thanks after such a time of silence. When no one is praying audibly, all should be praying silently, and should be so instructed. We are not there primarily to "get things" but to realize God's presence. This is the greatest answer to prayer, that we are consciously aware of the Great Shepherd and His unchanging love for us.

12. Honesty as We Pray

   If no one in the group is willing to be honest, there will soon be no prayer meeting.

   The principle of honesty in prayer is twofold: First, that I say I, when I mean myself, and that I say we when I

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include the whole group. The editorial we denotes the deadly poison of dishonesty. Here is one version: "Lord, we ought to pray more often, and we ought to read our Bibles more often, forgive us." Here is the other: "Lord, forgive me. I've read my Bible only once or twice this week, and I've just prayed on-the-run, and my heart is so hungry to be with You alone. Please forgive me for this, and I put the controls of my day back into Your hands."

   The second principle of honesty is to pray where I am and not where I am not.

   If I am struggling over hurt feelings for instance, I should say so, and do it without involving or blaming anyone but myself. It is dishonest to pray as though everything were fine and shining when that isn't true. If the matter is too personal to mention, you can still be honest enough to ask for strength to face a decision, or for grace to help in a certain situation. It has been said that "one gets it off one's chest by getting it on one's tongue." (See I John 1:9.) Honesty demands straightforward simplicity without apology.

   Honesty goes right to the point.

13. Difficulties

   a. If one person prays too often. I know from my own experience how eager one can become. Fortunately a friend took me aside and told me. "Wouldn't it be better if you waited a bit, to see if the Spirit might place the same request or the same answer upon someone else's heart? Then you would have the joy of knowing that both of you were agreeing in the Spirit." It was much better. I became more aware of the need of others to express themselves, to take part in agreeing and thus fulfill the royal law: love one another.

   b. If one or more persons insist on long prayers. This demands love and instruction. Perhaps first to the whole group, and then to the individual. Perhaps he or she will begin to pray shorter prayers as you pray and God answers.

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Long prayers tend to become impersonal and indirect, and when the group is praying conversationally, the others feel left out and unable to participate.

   Try suggesting sentence prayers, or enough sentences to convey one idea only. If the person is new, someone should clue him in before starting.

   c. If no one is praying an honest prayer. Then you be that one. It will hurt. It may kill you. Kill your pride, that is. But it will bring rich abundant life. When God meets you in your honesty, someone else will realize a deep heart hunger to meet Him in the same way.

   When the Holy Spirit is in full charge, there will be real freedom to pray honestly, and sins will be forgiven and tensions will be released. The natural and expected result of prayer, in the Presence of God, is that healing love shall touch us all as we sit in our places.

   After all, prayer is conversing with God, and to converse with someone we must be with that person.

   And in His presence is fullness of joy.

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