It's About Time
For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven.
ECCLESIASTES 3:1
Time, a phenomenon often regarded as the foe of man's dominion, is actually the friend of us senior citizens. "Touch us gently, time," wrote Barry Cornwall in A Petition to Time long ago. "Let us glide down thy stream gently...."
"Write it on your heart," Ralph Waldo Emerson said even at the peak of the Civil War, "that every day is the best day of the year."1 And it was Oliver Wendell Holmes who observed while sitting as a justice on the United States Supreme Court that "time keeps its customers in arrears by lending them minutes and charging them years."
During most of our working years, supervisors, managers, and efficiency experts constantly reminded us that time is money. They meant, of course, that workers should carry out their assignments with more efficiency so that the company might profit. But now in the new over sixty-five generation, we can rephrase that to read, Time is more precious than money. Now we spend our time as carefully as we ever did our money during wage-earning years. As we grow older, there is less and less time in our bank accounts.
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What, precisely, is time? Who can explain it? What do we talk more about than time? St. Augustine thought he could
| "As we grow older, there is less and less time in our bank accounts." |
explain time until he was asked. Then he replied, "If nobody asks me, then I know. But if I were desirous to explain to someone that should ask me, plainly I know not."
A group of experienced news commentators was once asked at year's end to identify the gravest crisis facing the American people. Eric Sevareid, for many years a CBS commentator, cited the rise of leisure and the fact that those who have the most leisure are the least equipped to make use of it.2
For a retired person, leisure can mean tedious boredom. Once upon a time, our busy work schedules added tension to our lives; now the opposite is true. How can we spend our leisure time redemptively? Leisure time should include things we want to do but don't have to do.
Each day contains twenty-four hours, but each person uses those hours in different ways. People have always been puzzled by this phenomenon called time. What is it? How should we spend it? Henry Dobson in "The Paradox of Time" alluded to its intriguing essence:
Time goes, you say? Ah, no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.3
Time that is measured fights against time that is lived. Each person has an equal amount. Whether school boy or president, author or housewife, farmer or financier, the
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clocks we buy all run at the same rate of speed. No one has a single second more of time than anyone else.
I like Charles Shedd's "Ten Affirmations for Christian Use of Time."4 He begins with the purpose of time: Life's Single Holy Assignment. From Luke 10:41-42 he sets forth the parallel of Christ's reminder to Martha that "one thing is needful." The Savior recommended a simple, quiet talk about heavenly things over bending her efforts toward lavish attentions. The effective life, writes Pastor Shedd, does not result from getting God to help us. Our lives assume maximum worth when we "turn our wills over to Him and ask that we might be of assistance to His purposes."
When life becomes too harried, Colleen Townsend Evans says she tries to stop the merry-go-round with the question, "Have I pushed Christ out of the center of my life?"5
Pastor and writer Bruce Larson suggests that "getting our marching orders can make the difference."6 Settling the question of whether what we are doing is what God wants us to be doing could be the greatest single key to our management of time!
Take away the complicated phrases and we must conclude that time is but a measurement, a dimension. Therefore, time need not be a problem for someone who is retired and has plenty of it. All roads lead right back to a management, not of time, but of ourselves.
DEALING WITH LEISURE
The psalmist uses the term selah to indicate a pause in the reading of the psalter while music plays. Music uses a symbol called a rest at certain locations on the score. There is no music in rest but, as John Ruskin pointed out, "there's the making of music in it." Retired persons are in a good position to take advantage of that rest to make their lives a symphony.
God introduced leisure when He created the world in six days and rested on the seventh. What do you think of when
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you think of leisure time? A quiet stroll on the beach; a thirty-foot Air Stream trailer behind your car as you travel to the North Woods? Playing croquet in the back yard? Warming your toes beside your fireplace on a cold winter night?
The term leisure comes from the Latin licere, meaning to be permitted. We will not experience leisure until we give ourselves permission. Do you think that is an odd thing to say? Who wouldn't give himself permission to enjoy a bit of leisure? I'll tell you who: every workaholic you meet (I wrote a book on that subject); every frazzled wife trying to cope with a retired husband underfoot; every single parent holding a job and a family together; and every guilt-ridden provider who frets against having so little saved for retirement and pours his energies into several jobs.
Leisure is not unwork. It's not whittling wood, twiddling thumbs, or watching the sun rise and then set again. Leisure here refers to meaningful work for which we were made. This generation has robbed leisure of its balm. The young executive is told, "You want to get ahead here? Work overtime. Work fifteen-hour days and travel on Sundays."
How will a person ever get to know God with a schedule like that? Most middle class Americans tend to worship their work. They work at their play and play at their worship. Meaningful values are thus distorted; relationships disintegrate; lifestyle becomes a cast of characters in search of a plot.
William McNamara states that our neurotic compulsion to work is our country's greatest malaise. To Tim Hansel, even work that is good and necessary can become idolatry when it becomes all-consuming.
Handling leisure requires the same discipline as handling any part of one's time. Mark H. McCormack learned over the years how to arrange his schedule to accommodate his work habits. "For me," he said "getting the most out of my abilities is directly proportionate to getting the most out of my time. I take an aggressive attitude toward time, and I seek to control it rather than have it control me."7
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There are four ways to fill the hours of retirement.
1. "I'll wait until I wake up each morning to plan the new day."2. "I don't merely want to keep busy; I want to enjoy the things I do. So I will plan to spend a maximum of time for the things I like and a minimum of time for those activities which I do not enjoy."
| "We will not experience leisure until we give ourselves permission." |
3. "It isn't enough merely to enjoy myself; I want to have some meaning to my life. I want my activities to furnish that meaning."
4. "What does it matter if I enjoy myself? I must spend and be spent by my mission. In this passion I find meaning."
Which one describes the way you fill the time of your life?
The first one can be deadly. Marlene Alexander of Newmarket, Ontario, said after her father died one autumn at eighty-four years of age that "we watched Dad die by degrees ever since he quit work when he was sixty-five."
The thing that worried me was that he didn't retire to anything. At the time, my parents had a big house with a big yard and a vegetable garden, but they soon sold the property and moved into a condominium.
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For as long as I can remember, Dad had always enjoyed going for long walks. Somewhere along the way he stopped doing that or anything else very active. Then, at 75, we discovered that he was diabetic. Mom prepared his meals according to the strict diet, but he craved sweets. (Why is it we always long for those things that are bad for us?) Any walks he took now led to the nearest store where he could get candy and ice cream. Nobody could make him understand the seriousness of his actions. It seemed as though eating was the only pleasure left to him. Eventually, he lost what remained of his already poor eyesight and a stroke immobilized him for about a year before he died.
In her 23 February 1991 column, Ann Landers published this humorous but insightful prayer by a senior citizen.
A Prayer for Later Years
Lord, Thou knowest that I am growing older.Keep me from becoming too talkative, and particularly keep me from falling into the tiresome habit of expressing an opinion on every subject.
Release me from the craving to straighten out everybody's affairs. Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details. Give me wings to get to the point.
Give me grace, dear Lord, to listen to others describe their aches and pains. Help me endure the boredom with patience and to keep my lips sealed, for my own aches and pains are increasing in number and intensity and the pleasure of discussing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.
Teach me the glorious lesson that, occasionally, I might be mistaken. Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not wish to be a saint (saints are so hard to live with) but a sour old person is the work of the devil.
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Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful, but not pushy; independent, yet able to accept with graciousness favors that others wish to bestow on me.Free me of the notion that simply because I have lived a long time I am wiser than those who have not lived so long.
If I do not approve of some of the changes that have taken place in recent years, give me the wisdom to keep my mouth shut.
Lord knows that when the end comes, I would like to have a friend or two left.
Senior C
A woman in upstate New York ran her home in her retirement precisely as she had during the busy haunts of the work-a-day world. Only when she broke her ankle did she find that life went on without washday on Monday, grocery shopping on Wednesday, and tennis on Saturday. The revelation changed her life and made her much easier to live with.
In spending your time, don't count on everything going as planned. How dull a life it would be if everything happened as anticipated! How wonderful to know that God can take our mistakes and work them out for good.
Looking back, Joseph could have taken comfort in Murphy's law: If anything can go wrong, it probably will. His brothers sold him as a slave to Egyptians. His master's wife tried to seduce him, leading to an unjust sentence. Those he befriended in prison forgot him. But when it was all over, Joseph could say to his brothers, "You meant it for evil, but the Lord meant it for good."
My colleague Ed Dayton at World Vision, and my partner in our two-day "Managing Your Time" seminars for pastors and Christian leaders, has created a new law which he calls Dayton's Law: At least 50 percent of the things you plan will probably go right. Rejoice!
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That goes especially for retirement. God never gives us more than we can handle. Other people will, however. And we assign ourselves an overload, but the Lord never does. Charles W. Shedd, in his book Time For All Things, writes:
God knows what He wants from each of us, and there is plenty of time in His day for things essential to His plan. We do Him a grave injustice when we fall into the habit of compulsive overwork. We sin when we pressure out His wishes for assignments that have not been filtered through divine judgment. Self-centered scheduling that wants it our way, and ours alone, is far different from setting up a plan with the Inner Presence as our guide.8
Dwight D. Eisenhower arranged his affairs so that only the truly important and urgent matters came across his desk. He discovered in the process that the two seldom went together. The really important matters were seldom urgent... and the most urgent matters were seldom important.
"Too much of a set schedule can become an idol," says Michael Griffiths in Take My Life, "if we get irritated when something comes along to interfere with it."9 There is great joy, he pointed out, in meeting calm, unhurried people, who in spite of their own pressures still have time for others. Some people have the temperament to be organized and prepared, rather than to be in a rush. The rest of us have to work at it. Better to be serene and to cultivate an unhurried life.
The Institute of Gerontology at the University of Michigan surveyed senior citizens about their formulas for remaining active, useful, and happy in retirement. The respondents answered:
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Do something for someone else at least once a day.
Try out your activities before retirement.
WHAT SHALL I DO?
Whatever you choose to do during your retirement years, make certain that you choose activities with continuity, so that you can return to them again and again. And, while you may master the basic skills easily, your activities should keep you challenged. You don't want to get bored when you become an expert! Your activities need to:
An abundance of activities exist to fill your leisure hours. Here is a sampling to introduce you to kinds you might not have thought of.
Adult Education
Our types are returning to classrooms in record numbers. Adult education programs present a wide range of subjects including practical skills such as woodworking, enjoyable pastimes such as genealogy studies, and academic pursuits such as languages and literature.
Colleges and universities are seeking older students with or without high school diplomas. Special counseling programs, adult-oriented course offerings, the College Level Examination Program (which gives credit for life experience), and scholarships or subsidies for senior citizens are
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only a few of the ways in which these institutions are luring older people back to school. You can earn a degree just for the satisfaction of it, or prepare yourself for starting a business. You may desire to stimulate your intellect, or you may enter into a spiritual ministry for needy people all around you.
Trade schools offer job-directed training, even for retired persons. Correspondence schools administer independent study programs by mail in both credit and noncredit subjects. The doors of public libraries, museums, televised classes, learning aids, churches, and senior centers are open to us.
Elderhostel is one innovative educational program which offers liberal arts and science courses to American and Canadian citizens sixty years of age and older. The program began in 1975 as an experiment at five schools in the New Hampshire stage college system. It grew out of the Institute for Retired Professionals, established in 1962. In ten years, nearly 100,000 participants had joined the sessions at a total of 850 institutions in all fifty states and in many countries abroad. Classes are supplemented with field trips and social events. The modest charge includes room and board in the institution's dormitories. If you are interested in being added to Elderhostel's mailing list, send a postcard with your name and address to:
Elderhostel Institute Network15 Garrison Avenue
Durham, NH 03824
Older adults care about education. They are intense and self-motivated learners, and they define their own educational experiences and enthusiasms. An institute fosters and capitalizes on these strengths, empowering older people to continue learning, expand their horizons, and enhance their personal development.
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Crafts and Hobbies
"No person is really happy or safe without a hobby," wrote Sir William Osler, a distinguished teacher-physician.10 For
| "Older adults care about education. They are intense and self-motivated learners." |
many years I've been curious about hobbies, finding in sports my keenest interest. People choose hobbies in many ways (perhaps hobbies choose people, I'm not sure). Usually an avocation in the years before retirement becomes a second vocation in retirement. Most of the time, the hobby that seizes the interest of a retiree is a brand new experience.
Which of the following hobbies would capture your interest: auctions, autograph collecting, baking, bird watching, animals, coin collecting, drawing, painting, fishing, stamp collecting, writing, window-shopping...? Izaak Walton wrote, "I have laid aside business, and gone a-fishing." And, to justify his action, he added, "We may say of angling as Dr. Boteler said of strawberries: 'Doubtless God could have made a better berry, but doubtless God never did'; and so, if I might be judge, God never did make a more calm, quiet, innocent recreation than angling."11
Reading is a keen hobby for me. I've read a book a week for the past forty or more years. For most of those years I read to enrich my ministry in management. Now I read for fun and inspiration as well. I have the abilities to speed read most of the books I read.
In The Haunted Bookshop, Christopher Morley gives the old bookman a curious reason for not reading some of his favorite books. His strategy was that when it came time to
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die and the doctors were certain he would not recover, he would cry, "But I can't die! I haven't read King Lear!"
Travel is high on the list of priorities for most retired people, but it's expensive so desire is most often modified by the check book. It might be that it's more important for you to travel to the next state to see a treasured friend than it is to fly to Europe next summer.
J. Winston Pearce, writer in residence at Campbell University in Buies Creek, North Carolina, has a creative way to travel by car and cut down on expenses.
"The Pearces often travel with friends by car," he says. "And, tongue in cheek, I report on one way the four of us cut expenses. We found that the four of us, two couples, needed only one motel room with two double beds. When friends raise an eyebrow at that and ask if it is not embarrassing when we go to bed, I answer, 'No, we learned that if we took off our bifocals, there were no problems."12
The famous Roman orator Cicero once wrote, "If the soul has food for study and learning, nothing is more delightful than an old age of leisure." Cultivating the mind and heart, to be sure, is more important for one than what goes on in one's environment.
My mind to me a kingdom is;Such present joys therein I find
That it excels all other bliss
That earth affords or grows by kind.13
If a retired person can settle upon a hobby that improves the mind, so much the better. After Franklin Delano Roosevelt was elected president, he called on Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., and found the man reading Plato at the age of ninety-two. "May I ask why you are reading Plato, Mr. Justice?" asked the president.
"Certainly, Mr. President," came the reply, "to improve my mind."
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It's been said often that the happiest people in retirement are those who touch life at the greatest number of points.
Woodworking, bookbinding, candlemaking, photography, ceramics, printing, quilting, upholstering, toymaking — these are only a few examples of the many crafts and hobbies people pursue. You can enjoy crafts along or with others,
| "The happiest people in retirement are those who touch life at the greatest number of points." |
spend as much money and time as you like on them, fashion them for your own amusement, or give them away. You might want to teach others your crafts as well.
You can learn about crafts in adult education courses or classes at your local Y, art center, or senior center. You will find craft magazines and books in local libraries.
Gardening. Tilling soil is creative in many ways. The gardener fosters life, nurtures beauty, gains peace of mind, and becomes attuned to God's creation. Gardening can be as simple as planting a window box, or as advanced as growing plants for sale or collecting and raising rare specimens.
To gain skills in gardening:
Writing. Retirement, as United States Senate Chaplain Richard C. Halverson suggested in the opening chapter, is a
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good time to record the history and lineage of your family. Through writing you can express thoughts, share ideas, and free your emotions. You may even decide to send your work to a publisher.
Courses in creative writing are available in most areas at community colleges, at recreation centers, through university continuing-education programs, and by correspondence. Classes by mail for writers are easier to conduct than most other types of subjects because a student must first put his work on paper whether the instructor is right there in the class or at a remote mailbox.
Drawing, Painting, and Sculpting. The arts help us become more sensitive to the world around us and more appreciative of texture, color, and shadow. University and adult education programs, art museums, and private studios offer formal training. Older people may be entitled to reduced tuition fees.
You can borrow famous reproductions or works by community artists for your home. Special events such as book discussions, film forums, or lectures are available. So are popular and specialized newspapers and magazines.
Music. Within a period of only twelve months you could learn to play sophisticated music on a recorder, a piano, an organ, a guitar, or an accordion. Many music shops, educational institutions, and musicians offer lessons. Self-instruction is available through learn-by-mail organizations as well.
Cooking. Skill in the kitchen requires imagination more than the mastering of measurements for recipes. Many people enjoy special pleasure from inventing and/ or perfecting a favorite dish.
To learn how to cook, borrow cookbooks from your library, watch a cooking series on television, take classes, or learn by trial and error.
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Collecting. Accumulating items of interest can be amusing, satisfying, and financially rewarding as well. Your search might be a personal treasure hunt or a studied garnering of items you know are valuable and on which you can turn a profit.
For starters, you might collect antique furniture, rare books, buttons, bottles, cars, clocks, coins, dolls, old prints, or stamps — to name a few possibilities. Libraries, bookstores, and local and national collectors' clubs can provide information not only on the process of collecting but also on how to evaluate and sell your collections.
Reading. Reading opens your mind to a special world of thought and imagination. Reading endures despite the appeal of television, radio, and video games. Many still prefer the printed page for the pursuit of knowledge and the entertainment of a well crafted story. Certainly, reading is one of the best ways to exercise your imagination.
Physical Fitness
The results of exercise, just like those of good nutrition, are cumulative throughout a lifetime of good selection. The earlier you start pursuing physical fitness, the better off you will be. Regardless of your previous history, the cardinal rule of fitness past fifty is movement — ideally, the kind of movement that builds your heart and lung capacity, maintains your body flexibility, and increases your muscular strength. Walking, cycling, swimming, and other aerobic exercises can help you accomplish these goals. If this type of exercise is too ambitious for you, at least try to avoid the sedentary life as much as possible. Don't just sit! Physical activity stimulates the mind as well as the body. Give it priority in your schedule.
As with education, opportunities are almost limitless for older people. Competitive sports are available in most communities. Get into archery, badminton, basketball, cycling, bowling, diving, fencing, golf, horseshoes, ice skating, ka-
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rate, soccer, rowing, softball, table tennis, tennis, swimming, and running, according to your preferences. Before taking the plunge, however, have a complete physical examination. Ask your doctor to recommend sports that suit your age and state of health.
Walking. No exercise is more natural than walking. It suits people of all ages. No special equipment is required, and you can walk in all kinds of weather. Start today.
Cycling. The same leg muscles used in walking are used in cycling. Cycling is more effective than walking in expanding lung capacity. Cycling is an increasingly popular sport. Investigate the types of bikes available to buy, or rent a three-, five-, or ten-speed bike. A coaster is a three-wheeled "trike." An exercycle in the home offers the same idea.
Swimming. Whether you do it for style, speed, or just plain fun, swimming is a wonderfully effective exercise. It tones the body, increases lung capacity, and aids circulation. Special swimming exercises can develop or trim specific body parts. Most areas offer swimming as a year-round sport, because many clubs and communities have indoor pools. Check on reduced rates and special lessons available to seniors.
In these recent years, swimming and golf have been my favorite forms of exercise and recreation.
Dealing with Stress. An important part of physical fitness is the management of stress. Medical researchers link stress to high blood pressure, kidney disease, ulcers and other digestive problems, and the general wearing down of the body's immune system. In addition, stress is a strong risk factor in the development of heart disease and cancer.
Allowing stress to pollute your valuable retirement time is a serious mistake, but one which you can correct. First, determine what causes your stress, and then learn to deal with it in a healthful way.
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Social Activities
In addition to hobbies and physical fitness, social activities play a vital role in maintaining a happy, productive retirement.
Special Interest Organizations. Clubs help you to do more with less. They provide social encounters, windows of opportunity unavailable for a person alone, and companionship in the development of skills, pursuits of like interests, and economical group activities for enterprising retired persons. And, most churches have wonderful opportunities for this kind of fellowship.
Travel. Moving about in this big, wide, wonderful world the Lord has created for us involves more than sightseeing. It includes interacting with people in distant places. To make travel more affordable, many organizations offer special tours and discounts to retirees.
Planning for a trip is half the fun. Successful travel, like successful retirement, needs a goal. If you're a photography buff, you'll bring back images from other places to enjoy for a lifetime. Better than a camera, however, is the human memory of what you saw. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not."
A single retired person can make travel more enjoyable by following these suggestions.
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Meditation
Enjoying contemplative activity is one of the most fruitful ways elderly people can spend time alone. In years past, you contemplated the origins of life, the world God has created, and the future of the soul. These were laid aside, most probably, as the pressures of earning a living and rearing a family distracted on all sides.
Now in later years, we can begin assessing our lives and relationships again.
If the resources of retirement years are to be well used, retirees must become masters of their own time. Time is not limitless; it is a valuable resource to spend carefully. The rewards will be yours not only for time, but for eternity as well.
An essential benefit of time well spent is enjoyment. You should enjoy what you're doing whether you're doing it for yourself or for others. To enjoy your free time to the utmost, regard it as an opportunity to look anew at yourself and your life, to come closer to the meaning of your life in relation to the world around you, to continue to grow personally, emotionally, and spiritually. Ideally, your emphasis in retirement should be on learning to live rather than earning a living.
RETIREMENT IS FOR GRANDPARENTING
One of the best ways to use your increased leisure time is to get serious about grandparenting. Happiness is being a grandparent, says a popular bumper sticker. That's true until the little shavers wear us out. Then we're happy to see their parents rescue us. But most retired people put grandparenting up there at the top of their favorite pastimes. When our kids were small we worked most of the time, trying to become established, taking care of responsibilities at work, making sure all of the bills were paid. We were proud of our
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own youngsters but there wasn't time enough to enjoy them. Now the picture has changed.
I can't imagine Christmas, birthdays, and other holidays without our grandchildren. And I can't imagine not planning various activities which involve the grandchildren who, I'm happy to say, live nearby. These times, I'm sure, will have a positive influence on their lives in later years.
Childhood is changing for our grandchildren. Nowadays it's television, computer games, and videos. We grandparents must be there when they need us. Our influence can be enormous, but there are ways to win their hearts and ways to turn them away. Let's use our time to ensure that succeeding generations learn to walk in the ways of the Lord.
