The Joy of
Friendship
Wouldst have a friend,
wouldst know what a friend is best?
Have God thy friend, who passeth all the rest.
— Thomas Tusser (1524 - 1580)
From the Bible, we know that God once actually visited the earth. He came in the Person of His Son, Jesus of Nazareth. And what was Jesus doing during His years with us? He was making friends — millions and millions of them, as it has turned out today. Here is what He said about friendships:
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down
one's life for his friends. You are My friends if you do
whatever I command you. No longer do I call you ser-
vants,... but I have called you friends... You did not
choose Me, but I chose you... The father Himself
loves you, because you have loved me!
And he added a practical word to spell out friendship in action: "Agree with your adversary quickly."
During His brief ministry on earth, Jesus had no secretarial staff, no administrative team, no personal servants, escorts, or bodyguards. But He had these friends, men and women of God, who made new friends and so built the Christian church. Some of them were unlettered. Some could not read. All of
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them spoke with a Galilean accent. They were not politically correct. They got into trouble with civil law, religious law, and military law. Some had faith but lacked polish. Some had grasped only part of the gospel that Jesus had taught them, and their faith was weak. But they walked where Jesus walked, and with one exception, they were filled with the Spirit as Jesus was, and the smile of God was upon them.
As the years passed, some of those friends managed to make some historical notes and wrote a few letters and manuscripts. Following the Roman roads through Africa, Asia, and Europe, they created a ministry based on God's friendship for humanity and His great love for His Son Jesus. Those early friends had the joy of knowing their sins were forgiven. They felt the power and love of the Holy Spirit, and they shared it, together with the promise of life everlasting.
Today, as the result of a few friendships with the right Person, the Christian church claims a billion living souls and is looking for more.
If you think I am laboring a point, go through the New Testament and look for Jesus' friends. You will find them among Canaanite, Roman soldiers, Samaritans, invalids, strong men, old people, young children — even Pharisees! Then turn to the book of Romans, chapter 16, and read the list of friends of both sexes made by one man, a Jewish apostle, among Asians, Jews, Maltese, Greeks, Macedonians, Roman rulers, sailors, and tentmakers. What love! What affection! What friendship!
INTIMACY WITH OUR FRIEND
Now, if you are ready, I would like to talk with you as friend to friend. You have picked up this book. Perhaps at the moment you are single. By your choice or through some circumstances, you are making your way through life alone. Perhaps
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you lost your mate through death. Perhaps you have never had a mate but would like one. Perhaps you had one but are now divorced. Perhaps, like our Lord, you prefer singlehood. Perhaps you are married but are separated. Or perhaps you are now living in a "safe house" from fear.
You know about me that I am married, but for years I lived as a single in different places — Hawaii, Scotland, Alaska, the Aleutian chain, California, and at sea as a sailor. I know what it's like. Sometimes it's lonely, sometime's it's not. But when you are living on your own, friendships are double blessings.
All this is leading to another question.
Did you ever stop to think that God is longing for your company? Well, He is. There on His great throne, controlling the operation of the universe, He is wishing you would communicate with Him. You may be thinking that I am out of sync and ridiculous to say such things, but stop for a minute. God made you. He scooped up some dust, and there you were. (Your HMO would express it differently, but what do they know?) He made you and planted you in your mother's womb, and here you are, drinking coffee perhaps, and reading a book that says this same God who made you is smiling on you and wants to be your Friend. Imagine!
If God is indeed smiling on you and you know it, then He is your Friend already, and that makes you my friend. I realize that because of some immediate, difficult situation, it may be hard for you to absorb all this. In fact, your finger is about to flip the page — but wait. Wait!
It's true that God likes you. He loves you. In fact, He misses you and would give a lot to hear from you. You make Him smile. He wants to know how things are going with you. Don't tell me that He doesn't have time for you, that He is busy somewhere else. (It's more likely that you don't have time for Him!) But just think about time. The fact is, God
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invented it. There was no such thing as time until He made it. And He will be glad to make time for you, because you are special to Him.
God's great loving heart longs for intimacy with friends. It doesn't bother Him that you might not happen to have academic qualifications. Why should it? Show me a Bible character who ever had them. Moses? In Egypt, perhaps? But in the wilderness, diplomas and certificates were not much help at finding waterholes, and in heaven they rank even lower. I'm sure our smiling God values the company of all those who believe in Him and love Him, regardless of their status in life. I'm not sure He is impressed by all the "civilized" noises the reverberate upward from planet Earth to the outposts of His kingdom.
All through the Bible one gathers evidence that the King of kings is not swayed by the endless international social, racial, and moral (not to mention religious) confusion of our daily lives. Instead He seems to wish He could cultivate more warm friends among us. Sometimes I think God would like to attempt an experiment like the genial Caliph Haroun al-Rashid, who would put on a disguise and leave his Baghdad palace in the evenings and walk about town incognito, visiting with his subjects and learning how life was treating them. Then I remember that the Lord Jesus Christ did just exactly that, 2000 years ago.
THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP
It's truly amazing what firm friendships can still accomplish in today's world. Friendships cement peace between people. Friendships pool resources so that they become available across borders. Friendships aid diplomacy in writing treaties and avoiding wars. They unite tribes and families by replacing quarrels with trust. They provide mutual protection
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in good times and find ways to survive when times are not so good.
Friendship is God's remedy in overcoming physical difficulties, natural disasters, and human greed, as well as jealousy, enmity, hostility, bitterness, and resentment. When such troubles break out, friendship under God can bring about healing and inspire joy, always assuming that the friendship is stronger than the quarrel.
I believe a case can be made for the statement that just about everything in the history of the human race that has amounted to anything has been brought about through friendships. Not necessarily by political leadership or imperial power. Good friendships can be stronger than even nuclear capability, and will certainly do a much better job.
I can think of two personal friends who, by word and deed, radically and permanently changed the direction of my own life and helped me to be established in a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, which caused the God of heaven to smile and send me hightailing on His errands all over the world.
The Apocrypha, a collection of religious writings largely from between the Old and New Testament times, has some interesting thoughts about the value of friendship. The book Ecclesiasticus, also called The Wisdom of Sirach, is not part of the Bible, but it contains some fascinating observations. One of the best-known passages begins with, "Let us now praise famous men... for they are a great glory to the Lord who created them." I mention it because my own opinion is that the renown of "famous men" is usually based not on their own achievements so much as on the personal friendships they formed earlier in their lifetimes, which guided and steered them toward their renown.
Ben Sirach, the author of those words, was himself aware of the value of such friendships, for he also wrote,
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A faithful friend is a strong protection....
A faithful friend is beyond price;
his value cannot be weighed.
A faithful friend is a life-giving medicine,
and those who fear the Lord will find it.
The man who fears the Lord will make genuine friendships,
for to him his neighbor is like himself.
"HAVE GOD THY FRIEND"
The wonder and joy of friendship, and even the sorrow of friendship gone awry, bring us back to this: Originally all human friendships were simply joyful icons and reflections of God's primordial friendship with His own creatures. The book of Genesis tells us that after He made man, God decided it was not good for man to be alone. He needed a friend. So out of His own friendship for man, God made another human being and named her woman. Immediately life brightened up, and human joyance entered the garden.
In fact, God in His wisdom has made friendship a key secret to the good life. If you study all the truly great and good things that have happened in human history, whether spiritual or not, look for the strong, quiet friendships behind them that brought those good things into being.
And the simple advice that God has given us — "A man who has friends must himself be friendly" — has always reflected His own steadfast relations with humanity. He is friendly! After the Old Testament tells us of the creation of the first friendship, it goes on to say that both Abraham and Moses were on "friendly" terms with God; but the New Testament goes further and tells us that God yearns to be Friend to the whole human race.
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It was because "God so loved the world" that He sent His Son to us. As the apostle Paul wrote to Timothy, "God our Savior... desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth." No matter how glorious is His awesome majesty as the Bible describes it, those who know Him say that joyful, intimate personal relationship is still the essence of His nature. And ever since He created us, Almighty God, the Lord of the universe, has proved again and again to be the best Friend the human race has ever had.
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FRIENDSHIP IN THE FAMILY
One of the most badly needed friendships of the new millennium is between the generations. A dangerous gap is developing between teenagers and their parents, not to speak of their grandparents. The generation gap is social, musical, political, educational, cultural, recreational, legal and sexual.
In a real sense the gap has always been there. My father was 47 years old when I was born, and growing up I was utterly convinced that we lived in different worlds. For 40 years he was good to me, but I was bitter toward him.
The self will always keep grievances uppermost and well-fed. Not until I reached my late forties and Dad was in his early nineties did God graciously reach down and seal our hearts together in the beautiful love of Jesus. Only friendship like this, rooted in God's love, will close the gap — in the twenty-first century, no less than in any other.
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FRIENDSHIPS MAKE THIS LIFE RICH
This world is not my home —
I'm just a-passing through.
This sentiment is expressed in a simple way but biblically accurate. I agree with it, and look forward with the author of the letter to the Hebrews to the homeland that God has prepared in a heavenly country for those who love Him (Hebrews 11:13-16). After nine decades here on earth, I cannot buy Robert Louis Stevenson's fatuous nursery rhyme.
The world is so full of a number of things,
I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings.
But somewhere in between here and our homeland there ought to be room for a Christian to say that he has deeply enjoyed living on this globe, if for no other reason than the rich friendships he has made while "a-passing through."
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CREATION'S FRIENDSHIP
There is an aspect of friendship on this earth that we don't express very often. It is a friendship with the earth itself. We are earth people, creatures designed by God for this planet. It in turn is designed for us — and I sincerely wish scientists would stop trying to get people to leave it in some contraption or other.
Right here on terra firma we are blessed with so much that we have come to love: the clean air, the blue sky, the shining sea, the bright flowers, the rolling hills and valleys, the waterfalls, the fruitfulness of trees and bushes, the changing of the seasons, the goodness of the soil, the color of jewels, the singing of the birds, the affection of pets — so much to enjoy, so much for which to thank God our Creator!
In fact, the whole globe is so filled with such delights that I find it hard to express its variety and charm; yet in a lifetime I have seen so little of it. Christians have a right to regard the earth as a beautiful place, created by the supreme Artist for His own joy and pleasure and out of friendship for His creatures.
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FRIENDSHIP IN HIGH PLACES
I know the risks and dangers in mountain climbing, but I have never sought to prove anything, just to enjoy the mountains. They have been such friends to so many people. I would like to say a word of thanksgiving for them: Fuji, Shasta, Lassen, Whitney, Tulik in the Aleutians, Halfdome, San Gorgonio, San Jacinto, Pikes Peak, Mauna Kea, Washington, Lincoln, Monroe, Ayres Rock, Giza Pyramid, Katoomba, Rothorn — yes, and the Washington Monument. These and many more felt the touch of my feet and responded with a quiet challenge. I bask today in the memory of their friendships.
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THE MOST INCLUSIVE FRIENDSHIP
I grew up in a home where racism did not exist. Before I left high school, my father had circled the globe four times and crossed the Atlantic in steamships nineteen times on missions of charity. As children we were taught that friendship toward all peoples was God's will for us.
I have been privileged to visit with Aboriginal Australians, Pakistani Muslims, Egyptian Muslims, Alaskan Eskimos, North American Indians, Russians, Taiwanese natives, Samoan natives, Hawaiian natives, Japanese Nisei and Issei, Orientals, Indonesians, Hindus, black South Africans, black Americans, Brazilians, Colombians, and New Zealand Maoris, and found them all beautiful people and eager for friendship.
For Jesus there was no race problem, there was friendship and joy.
I follow Jesus.
