Memories
By the time we reach retirement age, all of us have accumulated a sizable store of memories — some rich, some not so rich. These memories seem to cling to us; they can be called up at any moment, often without provocation. Pleasant memories are what give zest to life; they are a boon and blessing from Heaven to us of the older generation, adding as they do a lovely ingredient to life in retirement.
What about the other kind?
Let's face it: We've got them, too. Nobody lives in the twentieth century without being treated roughly, unjustly, unfairly, and even nastily. Rich or poor, tall or short, it makes no difference; bad days are a part of life. Crushing experiences and sour disappointments can happen to us at any time, whether we are young, middle-aged, or older. Call it the curse we inherited from our first parents, or call it what you like. Actually, some of these unhappy memories are mixed up with our own wrongdoing. In fact, much of the time what
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we call misfortune is in some way connected with sin — our sin. That doesn't do a thing to soften our memories.
The point is this: What can we do about them? How can we counteract the devastating after-effect of these calamities? Bitter memories are hard to erase.
Currently many fine books are being written about the healing of memories, from both a biblical and psychological perspective. Their therapeutic value speaks for itself. For a person undergoing treatment, it is often helpful to bring to the surface childhood memories that persist in robbing him of peace of mind, provided they are dealt with in a professional and constructive manner. Bitterness, guilt, inferiority, overdependence, and anxiety can be alleviated and even removed by wise counseling.
Having once lived with someone who suffered from manic-depressive psychosis, I also respect certain approved methods of treatment by medication. With the exception of my feelings about electric shock therapy, nothing in this chapter should be construed to conflict with accepted medical treatment. All such proper professional help, however, naturally works better with younger patients.
What then about people in our age bracket? Are we to be written off as beyond help? It is well-known that Sigmund Freud took little interest in older people. What relief is there for us as we look back over our often misspent lives and ruminate bitterly on the mistakes we have made,
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the mean things that were said or done to us, or that we said and did to others, and the unfortunate incidents that occurred at different times and caused us such acute distress? Time does not always heal. When we recall these things, so often the pain comes back.
A century and a half ago a distinguished Scottish minister, Thomas Chalmers, preached a sermon on "The Expulsive Power of a New Affection." It is still being studied today. Chalmers contrasted two ways of displacing from the human heart what he called a wrong view of life. The first way, he explained, is to demonstrate the unworthiness of the subject matter, a way which he considered "altogether incompetent and ineffectual" because of the "constitution of our nature." The other way, he said, is simply to "exchange an old affection for a new one." This method, according to Chalmers, "will alone suffice for the rescue and recovery of the heart from the wrong affection that domineers over it."1
As one who has had his own share of bitterness of heart, and who thankfully has been delivered by the divine application of a healing balm, I would like to address the matter of the "exchange of affection" about which Thomas Chalmers preached. We who are elderly may be too old for a program of psychotherapy to work effectively, but we are certainly not too old for God. There is evidence to show that when we understand how God's Spirit works, He can rid us of unpleasant memories and free us from unhealthy recrimination and regret. He can wipe
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away sin and eliminate the guilt feelings that beset us, and can do it simply by the "expulsive power of a new affection."
To begin we have to understand who the Holy Spirit is. More than power or wisdom or unction, He is love."The love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."2 To be filled with the Spirit, therefore, is to be filled with love, and when we are filled with love we have no room in our hearts for the negative thoughts conjured up by bad memories. They are simply crowded out — pushed out into the street. Satan's lead has been canceled, and it's a new ball game. Around the house we stop kicking the pet dog and start loving it; the same change goes with the rest of the family.
This love is bound up with and accompanied by joy. Many older people have dwelt so long in the tents of misery they have almost forgotten about joy. But Jesus taught us that love and joy go together. It was for the joy set before Him, as well as His love for the world, that He went to the Cross. And that is precisely what we older ones must do if we want to get rid of those unhappy memories.
Perhaps when you were younger you took the journey to the Cross, confessed your sin, turned your back on your past in a spirit of true repentance, claimed Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord, and became a believer. Great! You don't have to go that route again, ever. Once for all Jesus died for you. Once for all He made atonement for your sin.
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But let me tell you, brother or sister, the Cross is still there. It is waiting there not for Him but for you. If you are not filled with the Holy Spirit who is love, but are filled instead with animosity, hostility, and a proud spirit of self-justification, if your heart is wounded by horrible memories that won't go away, there is nowhere else for you to go. Like Jesus, you must be nailed to the Cross. Unlike Jesus, who was sinless, you are carrying a burden that is too heavy for you, and it must be left there. As that wonderful hymn says,
There is a balm in Gilead
to make the wounded whole;
there is a balm in Gilead
to heal the sin-sick soul.3
So once again you have to make the journey, not for your salvation this time, thank God, but for the healing of your bruises — bruises of anger, of spite, of self-pity, of self-guilt. This is the dark night of the soul.
On the summit of the ancient Jewish fortress at Masada in Israel, hidden among other ruins of Roman times, is an enormous cistern, a hundred feet deep and half as wide. Here the besieged Hebrews of long ago stored water so they could withstand their attackers. Today the cavernous cistern stands empty, no longer needed.
When you and I look back over our long lives and find that troubling memories keep surfacing and harassing us, it may seem as if our soul has become a giant cistern. Ugliness has been piling
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up in it for years. Our only hope is to have the cankerous stuff drained off and emptied out, but it's a huge job and much too big for us.
Who will do it? Praise God, Jesus will do it. Where will He do it? At the Cross.
When we come to the Place of the Skull, we have reached the site where divine cleansing can take place. He will scour and scrub the cistern clean. No matter how much stuff has filled it during our lives (and some of it since we became Christians), if we ask Him, He will do it. Then we can invite the Holy Spirit to come in and fill us with love, and He will surely come. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."4 That is what Jesus meant when He said, "Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."5 It is what He meant when He said, "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy might be full."6 It is what He meant when He said, "Your joy no one will take from you."7
Love is victorious at the Cross, and when love is victorious it brings joy. That is what Easter is all about, what Pentecost is all about, what life is all about. Jesus went into Galilee preaching glad tidings to the people "that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves."8
When Christians are filled with joy, it proves to be the expulsive power of a new affection. "Old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."9 Away with all the blather about "declining years"! For us who are on the
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home stretch, it is a stupendous and glorious deliverance to know that God has lifted our burdens from us, and we are no longer plagued by seemingly unforgettable memories. Sometimes they reappear in our dreams, but thank God dreams are just that — dreams. When we awake, the joy abides and we are free.
That does not mean we legalistically have to hunt down and hug those who have brought pain into our lives. Cool it! God does not make hypocrites of His children. A superficial posture and declaration of forgiveness can sometimes create a worse situation than existed before. Better to follow the advice of Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady: "Don't tell me, show me! Being filled with the Spirit means simply that when we meet such persons, and even when we think about them, the animosity is gone; we treat them as human beings should treat one another. The emotional storm being history, we are now living in the sunshine of God's love, and there is music in the air.
Some through the water,
Some through the flood,
Some through the fire,
But all through the blood;
Some through great sorrow
But God gives a song
In the night seasons
And all the day long.10
Chapter 9 || Table of Contents
1. Thomas Chalmers, "The Expulsive Power of a New Affection," Masterpieces of Pulpit Eloquence, H.C. Fish, ed. (New York: 1850), vol. 2, 230ff. See also E.C. Dargan, A History of Preaching (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1974), vol. 2, 494-95.
2. Romans 5:5
3. Traditional Negro spiritual.
4. 1 John 1:9.
5. John 16:24.
6. John 15:11.
7. John 16:22.
8. John 17:13.
9. 2 Corinthians 5:17.
10. G.A. Young, "God Leads Us Along."
