The Difference Christ Makes
In Your Spiritual Life

"Dear Eugenia Price . . . I am beside myself or I wouldn't be writing this letter to you. My home is being wrecked by my constant drooping and worrying about the state of my soul! I am neglecting my husband and children.

   "My husband and I attend a church where they talk all the time about being 'born again.' Together we gave our hearts to the Lord, but nothing happened. My husband doesn't worry much about it, but I do. Everyone in the church seems to look at us in a strange way because we are still doing some things they don't approve of doing. They make me feel guilty all the time. Every time an invitation is given, I feel I should go forward again, but I have already asked Christ to come into my life and what is the point of doing it over and over? Still I am wretched. Maybe the Lord is only in my head and not in my heart. I have terrible doubts about His ever having come into my life at all. For months I have been having a dreadful mental battle. And I am no closer to loving God or having the fullness of the Spirit than before. I'm making

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myself sick and getting no place fast. I've been so miserable the past few months that every morning after spending most of the night wracking my brains over this thing, life looks gloomy to me and I feel I'm going out of this life as unsaved as I came into it! The preacher gives messages on the Tribulation and I get tied up in worse knots than ever, I am so scared. I've even tried visiting my non-Christian sister to get away from all that haunts me — the Bible, God, the church, the whole misery of it all! But the whole time I was afraid of hell and what was going to happen to me because I am not saved.

   "Has the Lord hardened my heart? Twice this week I have asked Him again to come into my heart. I tried to witness to a friend to make myself believe it. Of course, it was a big flop. I just can't seem to receive Christ! I've ruined my home life. Can you help me?"

   This dear woman's letter went on for sixteen pages of more of the same. My answer read something like this:

   "My dear friend, you are caught in a negative whirl, from which you can be freed only by resolute cooperation with the Holy Spirit on your part, and a realization that Jesus Christ is tenderly concerned about you. I am entirely convinced of your sincerity. First of all, you are looking for a feeling of Christ's Presence in your life. No doubt, others have told you this, too. And it is true. The Bible says 'He is not the author of confusion.' But I do not put all the blame for your evident confusion entirely upon you. I think the members of your church are partly responsible for it. They haven't meant to do this, but someone at least, has shown little respect for your personality depths in attempting to force you into a mold of Christian behavior. There is a great tendency to become panic-stricken, if our own feelings of salvation do not compare in intensity or joy with those of our brothers or sisters who shout Amen at everything.

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   "We are not alike as people. We are all different. God recognizes this, but people usually do not. One thing I know: If you received Christ into your heart sincerely, He came! And He never comes just to the head. He comes to the whole person. Some of us are constituted so that we do not have immediate feelings. From what you tell me of your background, you had never heard of being 'born again' until you began to attend this church. It is all so new to you and people are so much easier to see, and ministers are so much easier to hear than God, that you allow them to muddle you where God is concerned!

   "Jesus Christ said, 'Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.' You must decide whether you believe Him or not. Your problem is exactly here. Either you believe that He meant what He said or not. I see nothing in His Personality that would make me think that He would make an exception of you! He also said, 'I, if I be lifted up . . . will draw all men unto me.' Peter wrote that 'God is not willing that any should perish.' Frankly, I question that Christ Himself was lifted up to you. I believe perhaps a plan of salvation, with an insurance against an unpleasant after-life, may have been 'lifted up' rather than the great Heart of the Saviour, Himself. I have no way of knowing this, but from my own experience and from the experiences of many, many others whom I have known, once He, Himself, has been 'lifted up,' our hearts are permanently hooked by His love!

   "If I were you, I'd leave the 'Tribulation' entirely in His hands. Whatever He does, whenever He does it, will be the loveliest and the fairest and the perfect thing. It has to be, because He is God, and 'God is love!' You are ruining your todays by being unduly anxious over a nebulous, future tomorrow. The walk with Jesus Christ is a minute by minute walk with a Living Person. He Himself said, 'Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.' I think He was thinking particularly

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about persons like yourself, who have a tendency to carry tomorrow today. No one can whip up a feeling of love for a stranger. If you will turn to Christ right now (He's right there in the room, you know!) and say simply, 'All right, Lord, You teach me what You're really like,' I believe at least some of your panic will drop away.

   "Don't expect the damage from all this negative thinking to vanish at once. Our minds are not constructed that way. But begin to walk with Him. Talk to Him all day long as you work. Force yourself to sing songs about Him. Just repeat His Name over and over and over. Tell Him you love Him whether you feel love or not.

   "Salvation is not a process which particularly concerns us. That is His department! And He is a God of His Word. Above all, stop trying to imitate the good brothers and sisters in your church. They mean well. But my advice to you is, be yourself. And let Jesus Christ be Himself in you. Of course, He has not hardened your heart. What a foolish thing for God to do after the great lengths to which He went on the Cross to make it possible for us to come to Him!"

   I have not quoted all of her letter, nor all of mine to her. But, although hers is an extreme case, it is not an unusual one.

   I am pleased with this opportunity to share my conviction that we have horribly and shamefully complicated the very Truth which Christ brought into the world! The troubled letters ramble on for pages about the inability of the person who is writing the letter to lay hold of some aspect of the life in Christ. They are filled with confusion about a theological point or they are packed with tangled emotions and helplessly clouded with man made complications. These people are trying so frantically to lay hold of Him that they miss completely the fact that He has laid hold of them or they wouldn't be giving it a thought!

   God paid a visit to the earth in the Person of Jesus of Nazareth

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in order to do away with the necessity for emotional binges and special visions. He came to simplify Himself so that the most limited among us could know Him and know Him intimately and well.

   I now see that much of my own spiritual life has been a pathetic self-effort. Because I now see this, I can certainly identify with all of you who are still under the impression that the Bible is written for Christians in order to persuade them to reach greater heights. The Bible is an invitation to sinners to come and take full advantage of the poured out life of God Himself in Christ. And to come daily.

   We are forever trying to keep up with the Joneses spiritually. I have tied someone else's spiritual fruits on my tree until I am exhausted with picking them up off the ground, where they surely fall every time life gives me a blow. The fruits of the Spirit are merely evidences of Christ's life within us. When we act in a Christian manner, this is not because we have great light and spiritual perception. This is not because of our great obedience and the perfection of our lives. This is not because we keep a regular quiet time every day and give beyond our tithe. When we act in a Christian manner, it is only because we who are sinners have chosen to let Christ act like Himself through us!

   Another letter also caused me great heartache. This person had been confused by my book Early Will I Seek Thee. In this book I wrote of the fact that we are crucified with Christ. And although many of you have written that it was through that book that the Holy Spirit made this truth clear, one woman, at least, was highly confused.

   She wrote, "How can I die to self? Must this happen before Christ comes in or after He comes in?"

   We never die to self!

   Paul tells us we are to "die daily," but he says nothing whatever about a once for all suicidal act on our part. He

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tells us, rather, that when we lean firmly upon the strength of Christ, we realize that we have already been crucified with Him. To me, this is a moment by moment realization.

   In untheological terms it means this to me: Once, before I received Christ, I could not control myself at all times. Now that I have received Him, I can, if I choose to do it, place constantly under His control the stubborn, disobedient, human being that I am. I can be the same as dead to myself and alive to the very Personality of Christ.

   Many women write to me about their "lack of faith." One woman wrote: "I am trying to have faith. I am trying to please Christ. But it seems a losing battle."

   My good friend, Wesley Nelson, pastor of the Mission Covenant Church in Oakland, California, has written a little book which I urge you to read. Only recently, after years in the ministry, did he allow Christ to simplify things as He so longs to do. This book, Captivated By Christ (published by the Christian Literature Crusade), is a disarmingly honest and provocative telling of this new experience of the simplicity of Christ Himself in Wesley Nelson's own life, I'm quoting now directly from his passage on faith: "The first obstacle that must fall is a mistaken idea about faith. We have a tendency to think of faith as a commendable human trait, like courage of trustworthiness. It is often looked upon as an attitude of heart or state of mind which some people have and others lack. Those who seem to have it are said to be 'religiously inclined.' When we define faith in this way, we immediately set up a division among human beings, so that some find it easy to be religious and others tend to consider themselves quite incapable of an active religious interest.

   "Jesus cuts right through this mistaken idea. He does not define faith as some inherent quality which men possess, by which they may unlock the door to spiritual truth. He does not say, 'Faith is the way.' He says, 'I am the way . . . '

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   "When the good news of Christ (Himself) is unfolded before us and we allow ourselves to see what it really means, we are captivated by it. When this happens, faith is born."

   You and I experience faith as an inevitable result of discovering what Jesus Christ is really like! When we know a person, if that knowing relaxes us into trust, then we have faith in that person.

   Another deeply troubled woman wrote: "Can anyone receive Jesus Christ at any old time or in any old place?"

   My answer is an unequivocal Yes.

   I do not for one minute discount the fact that the Holy Spirit must reveal the true identity of God to us. But is there a possible contradiction among the Persons of the Godhead? If the Father God "loved the world" so much that He would send His Son to die for it, does it make any sense whatever that either the Son or the Holy Spirit would love the same world any less than the Father loves it? And doesn't it follow with lovely logic that the Holy Spirit is always willing to convince human beings of their need of a Saviour and to reveal Him? If "God is not willing that any should perish," do you think the Holy Spirit is willing for some to remain in darkness?

   God gave us minds and He has every right to expect us to use them. When we refuse to be basic with God and do some honest thinking for ourselves in His Presence and in the revealed light of the Scriptures, we fall into stupid confusion about Him. We complicate the beautiful simplicity of God's visit to this earth beyond all recognition. I fully respect and believe the prophetic teachings of the Bible. But as Christians, our responsibility is to follow Jesus Christ in childlike obedience and simplicity. It is not up to us to cloud the issue of Christ Himself by trying to understand the ramifications and the obscurities of the "Tribulation."

   He is God. Let Him handle the things that are His to handle.

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He will do it perfectly. That includes everything at the time of His return.

   Another highly intelligent young woman wrote: "I began to doubt that I was a Christian during my freshman year at college. When I was a junior in college, I had an experience with Christ which gave me peace for a time. For most of the remainder of my college days, my mind was full of uncertainty, though most of the time I was active in religious groups. Since college, although I am in a responsible church job, and although my family has always been considered religious, I must admit that Jesus Christ is not real to me! I stand, at this writing, unable to move one way or another. Afraid to look long enough to see myself as I really am. Wanting to find reality and not wanting to. However, your books, Discoveries, The Burden is Light, and Early Will I Seek Thee, have so captivated my thoughts that I find myself longing to know Him as you know Him. I do not mean that I want your particular experience. After all, I am I and you are you. But these books have convinced me that Jesus Christ is real to you. I'm tired singing solos about Him in church, tired having people compliment me, saying I am so sincere. Then I come home and can't even pray! I know God exists, but I can't get Him tied up with Jesus Christ somehow."

   This letter interested me greatly. Actually, this girl was much closer to reality than she realized. My answer contained some of what I will have to say to you in chapter 16. To her, God and Jesus Christ were two different people. When, in reality they are One. She admitted in a part of her letter which I did not quote for you that perhaps she was afraid of the great adventure of belonging entirely to Jesus Christ. She alone must decide about this. The familiar, "safe" nest of conventional religion in which she had grown up, still feels quite comfortable to her. I understand this. But I am also grateful that my books stirred her up! No one's spiritual life

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works if one is clinging to the warm, familiar, nest, however cozy it may seem. Or however airless and stuffy. When Jesus Christ invites us to follow Him, we have to let Him decide where we are going.

   Another woman, a successful social worker, described this "familiar nest" habit well in my first letter from her. "I know a new life has begun for me, but the habit of being an inbetweener and the much practiced skill of rationalizing makes uncloaking sin in my life a slow business." I am delighted to tell you that this woman is now free! She became convinced once and for all that Jesus Christ, through the Holy Spirit, would enable her to break her old thought patterns. In a later letter she wrote: "I can see why Jesus hated hypocrisy! He hates to have us bound. And it is terribly binding. Being critical, giving way to frustration and irritation and then going into discouragement are the inevitable fruits of bad habits of thinking and lack of the knowledge of who Christ really is! I am through with all of them and just now beginning the shining new (all new) adventure of faith, with Him."

   Right here in your reading, I would like to ask you to turn back and reread chapter three and chapter four on the conscious and subconscious mind.

   Supposing that you have done this, you will remember that in chapter three on the conscious mind, we saw that we do control what is dropped into our subconscious minds. With your conscious mind, you can form the habit of daily Bible reading. No one can make this decision but you. But you can do it. And no chapter on the spiritual life would be complete without a reminder that, even on the days when the Bible seems to make no sense at all to you, with your conscious mind as you read it, you are dropping the written down Word of God into your subconscious! When you force yourself to sing a song of praise to the Saviour, even when you don't feel like it, you are dropping the words of that song into your subconscious mind.

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   You are building a storehouse there for future use in emergency situations. If you and I stock the "baskets" of our subconscious minds with the things of the God, we can absolutely depend upon the Holy Spirit's exploding them into our conscious minds when we need them! One woman, whose husband had been killed suddenly before her eyes in an accident, was the inspiration of a retreat I attended some years ago. I asked her how she accounted for the peace and calm she was showing in Christ. I knew Christ was responsible for it, but I wanted to know how she had laid hold of His peace. The accident had happened a short month before I met her. She looked at me and said, "Genie, the only answer I know is that all through the years, even when I didn't want to, I read my Bible every day. The Lord must have managed to store it up for me somewhere and it is holding now."

   Her subconscious mind was stored with Truth. And it was there to sustain her when she needed it so desperately.

   Our spiritual lives are not dependent upon our daily devotional times. They are dependent upon Christ Himself. But time spent alone with Him, allowing Him to speak to us through the Bible, is our access to His grace. Grace is always flowing toward us. Always. Our part is to put out our cups to receive it. I like to think of my own devotional hours as receiving hours.

   But this receiving must not end when we close our Bibles. The normal, relaxed Christian life is one that is regulated by a definite rhythm like breathing: Receiving and responding. Receiving and responding.

   Perhaps many of you feel that your prayer life is the weakest part of your Christian life. It well may be. I know I considered mine weak for many years. And yet we make a horrible mistake when we think of prayer as separate from our Christian walk. When we walk with a human friend, talking to that friend is an integral part of the walk.

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   If you have reread chapter four on the subconscious mind, you have the story of Marian freshly in your mind. In telling that story, I described a natural, conversational prayer through which Christ touched this fearridden young woman and healed her.

   This easy, natural, unstilted conversational praying has greatly changed my own prayer life. I have never been formal or conventional with God. I didn't hear a prayer from the age of fifteen to thirty-three. I really had no one to imitate. But through praying with my close friend and associate, Miss Rosalind Rinker, I have begun to understand the amazing freedom waiting for us all in conversational prayer with another person. A little over a year ago as I write this book, she came to live and work with me. And I have freely reaped the reward of her long, sometimes painful years of breaking out of the stuffy, conventional prayer pattern. Rosalind was a missionary in China praying with a close friend, years ago, when God began to set her free in her prayer life. And I would indeed be highly unfair to you if I did not tell you that you may discover all that she and I know of this easy, Spirit-guided prayer freedom in a new book which she is writing as I write this one. It will be called simply Prayer-Conversing with God (Zondervan). In Woman to Woman I have tried to recommend to you certain books which have helped me. This one is a "must" for anyone (man or woman) who longs for more simplicity and honesty and results in prayer. I live with Rosalind Rinker. I can tell you that she lives an authentic, direct, childlike Christian life. You will sense this when you read her little book, Prayer-conversing with God, and from it you will learn how we approach our own prayer times.

   From some of the letters which I have shared with you in this chapter, I am sure you agree that the basic answer to them all is Jesus Christ Himself. When a woman is anxious and uneasy about her salvation, let her remember that He is

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handling that end of it. Her part is to respond to the Person of Jesus Christ Himself. If she trusts Him and if she stops agitating long enough to think clearly, she will be content to leave salvation which is so beyond her, in His dear hands. If her prayer life is shallow, let her remember to whom she is praying.

   Jesus Christ is "the same yesterday, today and forever." It is our circumstances and our emotions which change. God created our emotions, too. And He created them with the ability to change! If He hadn't we could neither weep nor laugh. We would be automatons. But He has made us people, with longings and desires which we express and give vent to through our emotions. I try to remember that like the weather, my emotions change. They are apt to get my attention simply because they have changed. But, since I do control my conscious mind, I can deliberately turn that mind from my emotions to Jesus Christ Himself, who never changes.

   He, then, is our Christian life, I can look past my swaying emotions to Him, knowing that He will always take even my stormy feelings into gentle consideration. "He remembereth that we are dust."

__________________

   I have been greatly helped in my own Bible study by using, along with the King James version, the newer translations: Phillips, Berkeley, Williams. And I am most enthusiastic about the Amplified New Testament (Zondervan). It is interesting to know that most of the work in this excellent version was done by a woman, Frances E. Siewert, who spent most of her long life preparing it. We owe her a debt of love and gratitude.

Chapter Fifteen  ||  Table of Contents