The Difference Christ Makes
In Your Disposition

One of the deepest of woman's instincts is to believe in her heart (no matter what she may say about it) that her disposition is her own! In other words, she has a right to it. In reality, a disposition is an outward thing. It is merely a manifestation of what is inside.

   You are what your disposition shows you to be.

   I am what my disposition shows me to be.

   And because all women to some extent are actresses, this is one of the things which makes and keeps us such puzzling creatures where men are concerned. We seem to be one way and down inside we are capable of being entirely another. One of the most charming women I know gives every outward appearance of caring about other people. She does — from a pedestal. Because her acts of kindness are geared to seeing to it that others know how kind she really is. This does not diminish her social charm, except to the three or four persons nearest to her who have, at last, seen that here is true self-love seeming to pour itself out upon other people. But in

Page 16

the very acts of kindness, it is building its own esteem for itself.

   After many contacts with Christian women of all kinds in the past several years, I have almost stopped listening to their talk. Instead, I unroll a specially developed pair of antennae and begin to try to sense their true natures by what they are. Women talk well. By nature we are clever. There is Scriptural proof for this in the story of our sister Eve. This is our inherited nature. We are the world's most skillful rationalizers.

   And in my sincere effort to make this a fair-minded book, I would say a word in defense of the men with whom God has seen fit to populate the planet earth. Usually it is the woman who is considered the most spiritual in a family. Not always, but usually. Nine times out of ten it is the woman who is "holding on in prayer" and "holding on" in conversation often to the point of dullness in behalf of her husband who is not as "spiritual" as he should be.

   Often this is true. But often it is not true at all. The woman believes it to be true because by nature she is even clever enough to convince herself.

   Several years ago a young man became a Christian during the time I was speaking in the community in which he lived. His wife did not. But a few months later, she did. Now her friends tell me she has gone ahead of her husband by leaps and bounds and he is standing still spiritually.

   Why is this? Is it because women have a deeper spiritual capacity than men? In some instances, yes. But not in all. We dare not speak in generalities where the life of the Spirit is concerned. I have found out that the young wife, who followed her husband into the Kingdom of God a few months later, and who is said to have gone so far ahead of him spiritually, is working hard in her church. This is good. She is keeping a daily quiet time. This is good. She is witnessing to her new found faith. Also good. But she is boasting about it! She

Page 17

is enjoying her success as a Christian. She is discussing her husband too often with her friends. They are all praying for him and perhaps without realizing it, are looking down their pretty, righteous noses at the poor fellow.

   His wife's overpowering, extroverted disposition is swamping the boy. He is quiet and introverted by nature. He came thoughtfully and with great certainty into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He doesn't say a lot about it, he doesn't tell everyone (under the guise of witnessing!) that he never misses his quiet time. Maybe he does miss it. I'm sure he isn't perfect. But neither is he the same person as his wife.

   His disposition is entirely different from hers. Personally, I would prefer his. But this couple may be heading for serious trouble simply because no one involved seems to have realized that when we become followers of Jesus Christ, He comes to indwell us. We have minute by minute access to His personality! And He respects individual differences among us. We speak a lot about respecting them, but we seldom react one to the other as though we had any reverence at all for the differences in human personalities. If both of these new Christians could see the tremendous potential of Christ's personality within them, things would change.

   The quiet husband might relax his silence somewhat.

   The talkative, busy-busy young wife might relax her "spiritual speed" and begin to discover that God's voice is a still small voice.

   In this particular instance, it will have to be the woman who is changed first. Always, the most dominant personality causes the commotion. I have advised this woman to confess her over-activity to her quiet husband, to ask him to help her slow down and learn to be quiet. This should help release him. As things are now, he undoubtedly feels inferior to her spiritually. And the very fact that he became a Christian first probably only adds to his sense of inferiority with her.

Page 18

   I have no way of knowing, but I suspect that the man in question has a simpler, saner, deeper walk with Christ than his much-praying, much-witnessing, overly-enthusiastic wife.

   No doubt she is saying quite sincerely (because she is sincere and well-intentioned), "But this is the way I am! I'm just a bubbler and I can't help it. My mother is like this." Or, "My father is like this."

   Let us face the fact once and for all that when we are converted to Jesus Christ, we are reborn of God! We still retain characteristics and tendencies inherited from our human family. But we have become members of a new family, the family of God. Now we have access to the new inheritance. When we became Christians we "were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God."

   Daily I need to remind myself of this. I don't do it daily, but I should. I certainly need to be reminded. In fact, between the writing of the first and second chapters of this very book, I demonstrated my point perfectly. Most persons find it hard to believe that I am not extroverted by nature. When I tell them I love nothing in all the world as much as I love privacy and to be alone away from crowds, they look at me as though I am lying! But it is true. It is a sure Price family trait. Before I became a Christian and began to see that Christians really have no rights, I lived a (to me) lovely ivory tower existence. I saw only those who amused or pleased or interested or bettered me.

   I have sincerely tried to submit this defect in my personality to Jesus Christ. As long as it is submitted, I get along very well. But almost invariably, when I begin to write a book, the old girl (as she really is) comes to life! For the first few days I struggle mightily with a self-defense that for a time overwhelms me. I rationalize with the most skillful of my sex: "After all, I haven't allowed enough time to write this book! I've taken too many speaking engagements again. I must not

Page 19

throw this book together. I must write it carefully. And it does seem as though God's people — all people — would find enough of even the old tired milk of human kindness in their hearts to leave me alone just long enough to do it!" I sigh every time the telephone rings. I cringe when the doorbell rings. I resent the daily stack of mail to be answered. I have written five books and this time I seemed to have a harder time than ever before. By all indications I am slipping horribly as a Christian.

   But now that I have finally gone to the Lord with it minus pious phrases, I have seen that some of the reason, at least, is that this is the first book I have written since I have been sharing a house with my new associate, Rosalind Rinker. I have a new audience! Here was someone brand new to impress with the great need of a writer for solitude and aloneness. Of course, my disposition flared more than ever because I felt guilty underneath, knowing that she too has a book to write during the same months. But she has been a missionary all of her adult life and is well accustomed to interruptions. I've been a professional writer all of my adult life and I'm accustomed to proper writing conditions. More rationalization!

   Yesterday I did nothing whatever on the book. The telephone, the mail, the window-washer, a new convert in trouble, a Christian with a genuine need of advice, missionary friends leaving for a foreign country, a board meeting to be scheduled and planned for, a dinner engagement I had to keep and on and on ad nauseum. Ad nauseum to me. All God's work and all tough on my disposition.

   The fact that you are reading this book now is proof that it makes all the difference in the world whether or not a disposition is Christ-controlled! Today I have given mine back to Him. It seemed a rather ungracious gift on my part, but being as He is, He took it graciously. I am rested and I have stopped being the temperamental writer!

Page 20

   Being human, we blame either our heredity or our current circumstances for our dispositions. Both can be blamed. But if our entire personalities are under the control of Jesus Christ, we are enabled to act as He would act. Even with our heredity. Even with our current circumstances.

   Not once in His earthly life do we find a record of easy circumstances. His human heredity was average. And yet, He met His daily round with poise and great inner calm. He was God controlled. He permitted Himself to be. According to the Bible, He was "in all points tempted like as we are." What a relief this is! But He, being One with God, kept Himself under control.

   We cannot do this under all circumstances. But He can. He can keep us under control if we allow Him to do it. And every time we act under His control (when we would do something entirely different), I believe that something of His nature is added to ours. Something of Christ Himself is added to our inner selves. This inner self is what will be showing, don't forget, when we stand before Him one day stripped of our human bodies and our circumstantial alibis.

   There is little sense in our complaining that He was God and could control Himself. This is not the point. Jesus Christ became utterly human, too. And it is imperative that we see why He was under heavenly control. Over and over we read in the New Testament that He came to do the will of His Father. His motives were unmixed.

   I find that my disposition plays god (and havoc) in my life when my motives are not unmixed! I find during those times of half following Christ and half following myself, that I lack wisdom. Wise persons are always quiet, certain people. Have you ever noticed that? And truly wise human beings are those who dwell deep in God. Making use of His personality in them. Making use of His wisdom. If our motives are mixed motives, we lack His wisdom. It is contaminated with our

Page 21

own. James wrote a deep truth about human nature when he wrote, "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." He is.

   And our instability shows nowhere as flagrantly as it shows in our dispositions.

   Men and women both excuse their dispositions in the ground of heredity or circumstances. But I believe in all fairness that women have another excuse which is rather exclusively theirs. We don't put it into words. We don't admit it publicly. Usually we aren't even aware of it ourselves. But deep within our feminine personalities is the conviction that we are permitted some temperament simply because we are women!

   Granted we are not, as a sex, the strong silent type. There would be less reason for men if we were. But just as men have no right to excuse their domestic or spiritual inactivity solely on their heritage of strength and silence, neither do women have a right to excuse their irritability and nagging and unbridled tongues on the fact that, by nature, women are just like that.

   Dispositions are not inward things. They are outward. To try to control your disposition by what you know to be right intellectually or morally is a waste of time. It is somewhat admirable, but quite futile. At least it won't work under all circumstances and with all heritages.

   A woman's disposition is merely an outward sign of what she really is within. An outward sign of what is predominant within her inner self.

   If she is predominant there, her disposition shows it.

   If Christ is predominant there, her disposition shows that, too.

   Then what are we to do? If we know Christ lives within us, and we are still displaying ourselves via our dispositions, what are we to do? Two things: First, we are to remember

Page 22

that He works with our minds according to the way He created them. And He created them able to form habits. If we remember this, we will realize that we must form the habit of choosing to let Christ act through us. To form new habits takes time, and if we remember this, we will not fall into the senseless pit of discouragement when we do not break the old habits and form shining new ones overnight! And then, after realizing that under all circumstances we must choose whether we are to be ourselves or let Him be Himself, we must actually make the choice and act on it.

   Christ is within us to control our total personalities. But He is above all interested in building our characters and so He never overpowers us by His might. In His love, He waits for us to choose! Each time we choose to let Him be Himself through us, we are being added to at the center of our beings. Being added to by something of the very nature of Christ Himself.

   Jesus Christ would not do us the injustice of waving a celestial magic wand over our dispositions. This would be easier for us now, but harder in the final analysis. He is interested in remaking our characters so that we will be at home and familiar with our surrounding and friends throughout all eternity.

   We can begin right now by thanking Him for our disposition defects! After all, if we don't see them, we'll never come to Him for healing. The defects themselves are only outward symptoms that the wrong person is at the controls within the depths of our personalities.

Chapter Three  ||  Table of Contents