The Discipline of Deformity
''The lame take the prey'' (Isa. 33:23).
There are few, if any, disciplines of the soul that sink as deeply into the human spirit as that of physical deformity. Doubt, discouragement, defamation, desperation, even disease does not dig so deeply into the inner heart as does bodily handicap. Frustration and fear follow it, so that life itself seems mad folly and utter futility; while the Most High, in His infinite tenderness and mercy says, ''Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you. Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped. Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing: for in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert'' (Isa. 35:3-6).
One remembers Lord Byron's bitterness of soul over his physical handicap, as he said,
''My poor mother was generally in a rage everyday,
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and used to render me sometimes almost frantic; particularly when, in her passion, she reproached me with my personal deformity, I have left her presence to rush into solitude, where, unseen, I could vent the rage and mortification I endured, and curse the deformity, that I now began to consider as a signal work of the injustice of Providence. Those were bitter moments; even now, the impression of them is vivid in my mind; and they cankered a heart that I believe was naturally affectionate, and destroyed a temper always disposed to be violent. It was my feeling at this period that suggested the idea of ''The Deformed Transformed.'' I often look back on the days of my childhood, and am astonished at the recollection of the intensity of my feelings at that period;—the first impressions are indelible. My poor mother, and after her my school-fellows by their taunts, had led me to consider my lameness as the greatest misfortune, and I have never been able to conquer this feeling. It requires great natural goodness of disposition, as well as reflection, to conquer the corroding bitterness that deformity engenders in the mind, and which, while preying on itself, sours one toward all the world. I have read, that where personal deformity exists, it may be always traced in the face, however handsome the face may be. I am sure that what is meant by this is, that the consciousness of it gives to the countenance an habitual expression of discontent, which I believed is the case; yet it is too bad (added Byron with bitterness) that, because one
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had a defective foot, one cannot have a perfect form.''¹
One sits beside Byron in sorrow of spirit, for one would fain have him turn from the introspection and introversion of the ''corroding bitterness . . . which while preying on itself, sours one toward all the world'' to the assurance and uplift of Isaiah's promise. ''The lame shall take the prey.'' If he, and thousands with him, could only hearken to the testimony of one who had an unspeakably cruel ''thorn'' in his flesh the nature of which is nowhere revealed, from which ''thorn'' he prayed earnestly to be delivered, but without avail. He learned, however, and would teach Lord Byron if he could, that there is a delight higher than deliverance; for he learned from the Lord Jesus Christ, that, ''My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness'' (II Cor. 12:9). Therefore he could say with inner exultation, ''Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong'' (II Cor. 12:9, 10).
Grace that is sufficient, strength made perfect in weakness, pleasure in infirmities, strength when I am weak, that the power of Christ may rest upon me: this is the discipline of deformity. This is the
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¹Countess of Blessington, A Journal of Conversation with Lord Byron,
(Boston: William Veazie, 1859), pp. 143, 144.
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triumph over the thorn, the song over the suffering, the rejoicing over reproach, the glorying in grace, the defeat of deformity.
The lame have access to the king, and are the special object of his solicitude. Is there story lovelier than that of David's desire to help the sons of Jonathan, because of the heart covenant he had made with the companion of his youth (I Sam. 20:14-16; 23:18; II Sam. 21:7)! He found that there remained one son of Jonathan, Mephibosheth by name, ''which is lame on his feet'' (II Sam. 9:3). For the lame there was love, thoughtfulness, tenderness, care and provision, even privilege to eat at the king's table. ''So Mephibosheth dwelt in Jerusalem: for he did eat continually at the king's table; and was lame on both feet'' (9:13). Handicapped, but a special home in the court; infirm, but on intimate terms with his Majesty; lame, but loved by David; deformed, but dining with the king. And has the Lord of Glory, David's greater Son, less compassion for the crippled?
The leper has service for his king. Outside the pale of his people, ''unclean'' by highest judgment, unwanted by fellow humans, the leper seemed a burden to himself and a bane to others. Yet it was the leper whom God sent to show that the enemy had fled, that food had become available in abundance to the starving multitudes of Samaria, as he had promised through his servant Elisha (II Kings 7). The promise, ''Tomorrow about this time shall a measure of fine flour be sold for a shekel, . . . in the
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gate of Samaria'' seemed so preposterous that a minister of state remonstrated, ''Behold, if the Lord would make windows in heaven, might this thing be?'' (vss. 1,2).
The Almighty does have ''windows in heaven'' (Mal. 3:10), from which to pour blessings upon His needy children; but He delights in using the useless, in dispatching the deformed, to open them. The four lepers in the story led their king and country to the accomplishment of God's promise. The inconspicuous have their inning, the incompetent make their contribution, the unsightly serve their God and fellow men, and the handicapped help open windows in heaven!
Bunyan has a tender touch for the tested and troubled ones who feel that their infirmity renders them insufficient to be of any service whatever. Greatheart and his courageous companions such as Mr. Honest, Christiana and her four stalwart sons, Mercy, and others were on their way to the City of The Great King, where they met Mr. Feeble-mind, who ''made as if he intended to linger.'' (By Mr. Feeble-mind Bunyan did not intend one who was mentally incompetent, but one that was ''weak in the faith.'') He was hesitant to accompany such accomplished pilgrims, and sought to beg off, saying, ''Alas! I want a suitable companion. You are all lusty and strong, but I, as you see, am weak . . . by reason of my many infirmities, I should be a burden to myself and to you . . . Nay, I am so weak as to be offended with that which others have a
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liberty to do. I do not yet know all the truth; I am a very ignorant Christian man . . . It is with me as it is with a weak man among the strong, or as with a sick man among the healthy, or as a lamp despised.''
In the midst of their discussion, ''Mr. Ready-to-halt came by, with his crutches in his hands; and also was going on a pilgrimage.'' To him spoke the weak Christian, ''I was but now complaining that I had not a suitable companion, but thou art according to my wish''; to which Mr. Ready-to-halt replied with gracious spirit and offered him one of his crutches.
And who can have more compassion on the weak than have the crippled, or more heart for the helpless than the handicapped?
Not only God's ''lame ones'' and ''lepers'' can bring love and lilt of laughter to others, but his blind ones can cause them to see glories hitherto hidden. Is there a Christian heart unmoved by the message of that hymn, ''O, Love That Will Not Let Me Go,'' especially when it remembers that its author was blind? The late Rev. George Matheson, D.D., of Edinburgh was blind; yet he could see the wonders of God's love, and point others to them. With a heart overflowing with faith he could say to his fellow-handicapped, and to all of us:
''My soul, it was by the gate of the temple called Beautiful that the lame man was laid; in the moments of thine impotence, remember that. Remember that thine experience of the cross is itself the gate into the temple of sympathy. I do not say it is
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thine only gate into Heaven; Heaven has many temples—many mansions. Thou shalt know by training here what shall be thy temple yonder. Perhaps thine is here an inquiring mind; there are yonder those who inquire in His temple! Perhaps thine is here the gift of eloquence; there are yonder those who in His temple speak of His glory. Perhaps thou hast here the gift of an artist; there are yonder those whose temple is a place in which to behold the beauty of the Lord. But it may be that here thy lot is simply to lie low—to be prostrated on a bed of pain. That battered gate is the most beautiful of all. It is thy training for the right service. It is thy school for learning the art of mercy. The barrier that chains thee is a rudimentary wing; one day thou shalt fly with it.''²
Seeing in the shadow of blindness, singing in the sadness of sorrow, serving in the loneliness of lameness, strengthened in the grace that is sufficient: this is the discipline of deformity, that makes sweet our spirit, and strengthens that of others.
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²George Matheson, Thoughts for Life's Journeys, (London: James Clarke & Co., 1907), pp. 150, 151.
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Say not, my soul, ''From whence
Can God relieve my care?''
Remember that Omnipotence
Hath servants everywhere.
His help is always sure,
His methods seldom guessed;
Surprise will give it zest.
Delay will make our pleasure pure;
His wisdom is sublime,
His heart profoundly kind;
God never is before His time,
And never is behind.
Hast thou assumed a load
Which none will bear with thee?
And art thou bearing it for God,
And shall He fail to see?
—J. J. Lynch
Chapter Ten || Table of Contents